huh.

Seems I missed my 4th blogiversary. Whoopdeedoo.

tiny library is tiny

Little Free Libraries operate on a give-a-book, get-a-book honors system. Such a nice idea...for nice people.

Rick Brooks, one of the founders of LFLs, has said that, "Everybody asks, 'Aren't they going to steal the books?' But you can't steal a free book."

But considering that just yesterday, in a not-so-little but just-as-free library, someone threw a lit cigarette in the book drop and someone else wreaked havoc in the restroom by shoving an entire roll of tissue down the toilet, taking a giant dump on top of it, and then flushing, well...trust me, free book or not - they'll find a way.

what Breda's been doing*

• Painting practically every available, non-moving, non-living, surface in my home. The kitchen cabinets, the upstairs bathroom (robin's egg blue and white trim! Looks so cute, ohmigawd), the bathroom cabinets, the front hall (purple!), the other hall (not purple), maybe the kitchen floor (apple green!) because I seem to have completely lost my mind.
• Container gardening (yes, cucumbers really will climb up a tomato cage)
• Getting rid of the dishwasher, for reals. Seriously, does anyone want a perfectly good dishwasher? It's sitting on my porch annoying me. 
• Attempting to devise a way to nap with my eyes open and still retain the ability to answer reference questions.
• Sweating. Drinking water. Sweating some more. (lather, rinse, repeat)
• Organizing the Labor Day Northcoast II blogshoot. (anyone else planning on coming? PLEASE EMAIL ME YOUR RSVP, I want to cook food for you.)
• Actually reading books. (Fiction, even. Go figure.) This usually occurs while I'm sitting in the shade under my magnolia tree with something cool, and sometimes grown-up, to drink
• Admiring the hard work of the sparrows who have taken up residence in our birdhouse. They are currently raising their 3rd (!) clutch of eggs.
• Occasionally hanging out with William the Coroner
• Rescuing the disabled guy who lives next door after he fell and busted his face on the concrete. First time I've ever worn another person's blood, so that was interesting.
• Becoming friends with the pit bull who lives with the guy next door. He only looks scary. I give him sticks to play with, Mike made me buy Milkbones. Mike is a big softie.
• Still going to the chiropractor.
• Open carrying while openly wearing a prosthesis, short shorts, and a halter top. No one notices the gun.
• Other things even less noteworthy than these.

*I'm writing this post under the pretense that more than three people actually care.

getting my Breda back

I had to go out and get an exercycle because it seems every fat cell in my body has decided to relocate to my middle.

Now, I'm not making excuses here but take into account the fact that I've reached the dreaded mid-30s metabolism slowdown, add in almost year's worth of general couch potato-ness due to my accident related neck injury (and the fear of the resulting OMGPLEASESOMEBODYENDMYMISERY headaches if I dared to do too much), and toss in a lot of that relatively cheap and easy to acquire muscle relaxant (beer) and you have the perfect storm of things that will make Breda squishy in places that she doesn't like being squishy.

I also had to buy new pants. Being 5'0" tall and having curves made me hate shopping for pants for as long as I can remember. Most of the the petite section is either designed for stickfigures, have elastic waists for tiny arthritic grandmas, or are still too long, dammit. There are few choices for a woman with both an ass and a ridiculously short inseam.

So, being forced to go shopping because I've gotten squishy? Talk about incentive. I pedal, pedal, pedal until I'm sweaty and my heart is trying to pound through my sternum. Then I do some weights, some push-ups, some leg lifty type motions and then I pedal again until I just can't do any more. I listen to music, drink a lot of water, and think of the guy who rear ended me (twice). It's actually a perfect outlet for that particular rage - I think, "RAWR! I'll fight you!" type thoughts and they spur me on. That, and not having a muffin top hanging over the waistband of my jeans.

So there you have it - my "You Can Stop When You're Wobbly" workout system. I figure it's better than nothing.

busy B

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but I now have a second job. I don't have an official title yet, but I refer to myself as the Gun Range Geek Girl.

Now to work out a library/home/range/blog/other stuff(sleep) schedule.

Urgh.

You know you've had a bad night's sleep when the first thing you say in the morning is, "I'm going to bed early tonight" - while you're still in bed.

Coffee couldn't happen soon enough today, that's for sure.

Umm..

Day 2 of sunshine. Yesterday I did laundry, swept the kitchen floor, went shopping, cooked a hunk o'beef in the crockpot, and scrubbed the shower in a manner that would have made my Celtic ancestors proud. Today I'm at work telling people that no, we still don't have the 1040 instruction booklets. Quite a lot of the time, considering our demographic, I want to add, "Don't complain to me about the government. This is what you voted for. Enjoy your hopenchange." I am wearing a new purple sweater and drinking a crappy cup of coffee while I contemplate the horrid state of my cuticles.

This weekend it's supposed to snow and I'll be canning (jarring?) some lemon ginger marmalade with my mom.

Now, aren't you glad I blogged?

this was once for me

Oh, I suppose I could write about how I bought my mom a pink camo case for her new pistol and how excited she was when she unwrapped it Christmas day, or about how I've rediscovered my love for lamb and the amazing (and easy!) crockpot recipe I used, or about my awkward misadventures with Bollywood dance, or perhaps about the brand new crazy lady at the library, or maybe I could write about that blank canvas on my easel taunting me and how I've been craving color like a drug, or about how when I'm feeling sad or anxious I calm myself by imagining the view through a rifle scope and the mindfulness of breath that it requires.

But I won't.

Tender and thin skinned, tears brimming at random nonsensical moments, I find myself unable to bear the argumentative comments that somehow appear even on my most uncontroversial of posts. The sheer tediousness of undeserved snark and the weight of scrutiny have crushed my desire to write.

This, combined with 2010: Breda's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year has made blogging a struggle, even on my best days.

Please stand by.

TLNC*

Ugh, yesterday was just...ugh. That's about all I can say.

However, I will never again doubt the power of free internet. The usual suspects braved below zero wind chills just to get their fix.

The library was the slowest I've ever seen. In 8 hours, I had 4 reference questions. We're between billing cycles, so I couldn't place an audiobook order and because it's the end of the year and all available storage space is taken, I couldn't weed the fantasy fiction. I was bored. Painfully, tragically bored. And lonely. I would have even been happy to see the creeper who, when he's not ogling my coworker, offers us Hershey's chocolates along with a sly, "How's about a kiss?"

And somewhere in in those hours of backlogged blog reading I saw just what I needed**.

9:20 PM and I was there. Home.


*too long, no cats
** this is my favorite "smiles guaranteed" blog. Enjoy.

equinox

A megalithic passage tomb could have been built exactly where I sit.

Twice a year, the setting sun slips behind the silhouette of a tree across the street from the library and on its way to the horizon, a golden beam of light shines in a window and blinds me in the left eye.

It surprises me each time, although it shouldn't - seasons pass, the world spins on and yet somehow, here I sit, constant as a stone.

sigh...

I'm such a slacker.

what to wear

When you're a girl type person who wants to start carrying concealed on body, you're going to have to spend a bit of time thinking about your wardrobe. Try different poses in different outfits: reach forward, are you printing? Lift up your arms, is the muzzle revealed? Sit down then stand up again, how much do you have to readjust your clothing? There will be a lot experimentation with the things you already own and probably quite a few costume changes until you figure out what works.

I don't use the word "costume" lightly, either. You may have to purchase and wear things that aren't exactly your preferred style.

In my limited gunchick experience, I've learned that beyond the standard jeans and baggy tshirt, there are ways you can look cute and carry at the same time.*

1. A good stiff gun belt. (Or two. One black, one brown to match your shoes) Men's dress belts in a smaller waist size are a good choice if you would like something a bit more stylish.

2. Belt loops are essential, look for them when shopping. I've been known to carry even while wearing a denim skirt.

3. A selection of a-line, empire waist, and loose button up shirts. Dark colors and/or patterns are best to obscure any potential printing. Tank tops are handy too, to wear between your delicate skin and the grip of your pistol.

4. Shoes can be sensible and fashionable at the same time. There are plenty of options, especially when you shop online. (whenever I see a girl teetering down the street in her high heels I think, "Victim shoes.")

5. Accessories can be a distraction - who would ever expect that the lady with the dangly earrings and the purple glitter nailpolish is packing heat? Those scary guns are totally a guy thing anyway, right? This is one of the big advantages of being a chick who carries.

*Disclaimer: this is fashion advice from a nerdy librarian who still mostly wears goofy tshirts and Doc Martens, has been known to put her hair up in a scrunchie, frequently paints her fingernails blue, and still thinks that a Dr. Pepper flavored lipsmacker is an essential beauty item. Take it for what it's worth.

bugged

As if suffering through the heat and humidity wasn't bad enough, last night we discovered that we have fleas. All six cats are scratching as if they're possessed, I'm covered in red itchy welts and Mike....well, he has one bite. One. I'm fully expecting plague filled buboes to show up any moment now and he's trying to decide if that tiny red dot on his stomach is itchy enough to qualify. Argh.

And to top it all off, the vet said that since our cats all stay indoors it's likely that I gave them the fleas.

Fae is most assuredly not pleased.

how to be famous on the internet

An 8-tip list for bloggers. Perhaps it will satisfy SayUncle, the man with short posts...and an even shorter attention span.

(disclaimer: I didn't read either list. Rules be damned.)

if it's not one thing...

So after a couple days of relentless occipital neuralgia, I pulled a muscle behind my left knee and now my leg doesn't fit correctly. I feel totally gimpified.

Are they still working on virtual reality? Because I figure by the time I'm about 70, I'll be more than ready to have my brain bobbing away happily in a jar somewhere, wired up to the world wide web. (& you think twitter is bad?)

Work now, more later.

gray pride!

I was wearing my hair up in a ponytail sometime last month when my mom said, "Wow - you have gone so gray."

I bought a box of semi-permanent color the next day.

I strategically left one white stripe over my right temple but I'm not quite ready to join this gallery just yet, thanks.

no rats in this race

TORTOISE V. HARE :: BIG RACE!! from Dylan Stiles on Vimeo.

Busy day planned: work, garden, art, food, laundry, and most importantly, answering emails. Back in a bit.

what I carry

I'd join in on the current "whatcha got in your pockets" meme, but since I'm a chick, I usually put everything except my knives and my pistol (when I can carry) in my purse. And trust me, no one wants to see my assorted collection of crumpled grocery receipts, tampons, Dr. Pepper flavored lipbalm and stale Altoids.

But, hey, check out my Monkey Knut!

glory denied

I kind of feel like the Major Caudill of bacon waffles.


There it is in the upper right hand corner, my photo of my bacon waffles, on one of my favorite food blogs, Tastespotting. Takes two clicks to get to the original source. Dang it.

excuses, excuses

Reasons why this blog sucks lately:

1.) Stories like the French chef who said "I saw God before me" when he saw Obama make my head want to explode. I am struck dumb in abject horror and mostly just make disgusted sputtering noises when I read the news. Any amount of punditry I might have had has left me. I did, however, good chuckle out of this...

I'm sure it was just a lucky shot, but still. Heh.

2. I haven't been shooting in a long, long time. I miss shooting. Stupid ammo hoarders, no shooty makes Breda a very sad girl.

3. No snow! Gardening! Outside! Sunshine! Dirt! Blossoms! Worms! Herbs! Turtle walks! (new video of the cutest turtle on the internet, if you're interested.) I hate to waste good weather but just this weekend I found a little wifi spot outside near the perennials, so blogging might improve.

4. I've been reading a new book, An Edible History of Humanity. I just can't read fiction lately - I find that I just don't care about the characters and their lives - and I've always liked those books with titles like Milk, Salt, The Pencil or Color, where the author traces the history and evolution of a single subject. My favorite bit of this new book so far comes from the part about the reasons why humans might have started farming, despite the fact that hunting and gathering was by far a much easier lifestyle.

It has even been suggested that the accidental fermentation of cereal grains, and resulting discovery of beer, provided the incentive for the adoption of farming, in order to guarantee a regular supply.

The most unexpected things sometimes have the greatest effect.