Saturday, October 13, 2007

Beer consultant

This evening we stopped at the grocery store to buy some things to throw on the grill and stopped by the beer cooler. Standing there looking perplexed was this willowy young woman, who was just standing there, very intently staring at the beer. When I walked up next to her to check out the current stock of microbrews, she asked me, "Do you see the Blue Moon? I can't find it anywhere. They have every beer in the world here, except Blue Moon!"

Every beer in the world indeed!

Anyway, after an inward sigh (Blue Moon!) and a slightly more outward wince at her voice, which was reaching for babyish tones that only a dog might be able to hear, I decided to be kind and help the poor dear before she became faint and vaporish. (& me without my smelling salts!)

I asked her if she'd like something similar to the Blue Moon and she nodded emphatically yes. After an evil moment of fantasizing about suggesting the Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, I pointed out a hefeweizen, explaining the concept of wheat beers. Her eyes glazed over at that point, so she grabbed a six pack and walked away thanking me.

All this makes me think that maybe I drink too much beer. Or maybe spend too much time sampling different beers. Or...well, maybe not. I like beer. (she says as she sips her Willoughby Brewing Co. dark lager)

Fine. I admit I am a beer snob.

15 comments:

Robb Allen said...

Nah, the 90min IPA would have come off wrong. What you needed to give her was a liter of Dogfish Head Golden Shower.

Now THAT'S a kick ass beer!

I can't stand Belgian whits. Coriander doesn't belong in beer.

Civis Proeliator said...

I revel in the "Beer Snob" label! And there's no such thing as "too much time sampling different beers". Life's too short to drink nasty beer! There's a world of good stuff out there to be sampled.

I'm not too big on the heavy hops stuff like the IPAs, especially that 90 Minute you mentioned. Little too much for me and one of the reasons I shy away from some of the better American brews. Seems they all want to follow Sam Adams' "the more hops the better" train of thought. I really like Dogfish's Midas Touch but lean more to the Hefe Weizens and other wheat types, Witbiers, and Pilsners (especially the Czecks). Pale ales, as long as they're not overloaded on the hops, are another fav.

"Blue Moon". ::shudder:: Your good karma will be rewarded, my dear. Even if the lass fails to correct the error of her ways.

Breda said...

Robb - is there *really* a Golden Showers beer? I'll definitely be on the lookout for that one!

Civis - I agree, sometimes the IPAs become this macho contest of who can withstand more hops. But I'll try anything, at least once.

Bruce said...

Mmmm...Dogfish Head.

comatus said...

Well, I don't think you were being a snob at all. AFAIC, there are two kinds of beer snobs: those who want to be seen with a particular (usually ad-campaign-supported) Next New Thing, and those who Know What They Like (in other words, grew up on Goodole Lite and won't pay more--whaddaya mean South African?).

Blue Moon is made here now, right? I think a lot of Belgian styles are interesting sidelights to brewing history (nice way of saying I can't stand them either, though I'm nuts about Trappistes and kriek lambic--who isn't?); I have to wonder who it was at MilBuschInterCoor who decided this one was a winner for the US. Ever notice when they talk about Yerp, it's the British beer "taste" and the German beer "palate," but for us it's the American beer "market"?

D. Martyn Lloyd-Morgan said...

Being a beer lover myself, I find it fascinating that you sample so many different types. If I find something I like, I tend to stick with it...a creature of habit I suppose...

Anyway, have you tried Beck's Dark? Dinkle-Acher (A German Dark beer)? Or maybe Guinness Stout?

Yeah, I like the darker brews. And I'm not much on American brands either.

Robb Allen said...

Breda, yes, there is a Golden Shower.

It is what they call an Imperial Pilsner, and let me tell you, it is simply amazing. Strong, yes, but oddly very drinkable.

Like they say
"Unfortunately, the industrial breweries here in America have spent the better part of a century diluting and bastardizing this beer style to its hardly recognizable current state of existence. Over three quarters of the beer made and consumed in America is sold as Pilsner. But it doesn't have the alcohol content or the crisp, bracing, hop character of the old world standard. In fact, it doesn"t even have the same ingredients."

Trust me, if you find some (it's rare), get it. You will thank me.

Oh, and I made my own version of 90 min. IPA called "Ithurtzwhen IPA". Nearly 13% alcohol, using 8 oz. of hops for a 5 gallon batch (normal beers use 1/2 oz to an oz).

It's nearly 2 years old now and still ass kicking awesome. You just have to force carbonate it since the alcohol is so high it killed off the yeast.

Breda said...

Comatus - I like a Belgian wheat once in a while, especially in the summer. I do not, however, approve of the orange slices they serve Blue Moon with. It's beer! Do not put fruit in beer! Also, I've noticed all of the big box breweries are trying their hands at microbrew style beers, interesting statement about the market.

d. martyn - I love dark beers. I'm an Irish girl! Guinness is like mother's milk. (actually...they used to give Guinness to nursing mothers in Ireland...but that's a whole other story.)

falnfenix said...

if you're that knowledgeable with beer, i need to know.

i tried something in a microbrewery in DC and it tasted like chocolate. it's the *only* beer i've ever tasted that was palatable (to me). who makes a chocolate-tasting beer?

Breda said...

falnfenix - funny you should mention this. A friend of mine used to live near DC and told me that her husband would sometimes get a chocolate donut stout from a brewery. This might be the one you're thinking of..its made by the Shenandoah Brewing Company.

BobG said...

"All this makes me think that maybe I drink too much beer. Or maybe spend too much time sampling different beers."

Is that even possible? How can beer drinking be considered a waste of time?

Mikew07 said...

Falnfenix - You might want to try Sam Adams Chocolate Bock. I've never tried it though, so I can't actually say if it tastes like chocolate.

Personally I think Irish Car Bombs taste like chocolate milk, but maybe I'm just weird

falnfenix said...

falnfenix - funny you should mention this. A friend of mine used to live near DC and told me that her husband would sometimes get a chocolate donut stout from a brewery. This might be the one you're thinking of..its made by the Shenandoah Brewing Company.

ooooh...thanks! there's a MASSIVE alcohol dispensary near me (we call it Big Choice or Mecca, depending on one's drinking habits...), and if anyone will have it, they will. someone i know recommended chilling it to a very specific temperature (38*), else any chocolate stout will taste like poo. any idea on that bit of info? myth?

Falnfenix - You might want to try Sam Adams Chocolate Bock. I've never tried it though, so I can't actually say if it tastes like chocolate.

Personally I think Irish Car Bombs taste like chocolate milk, but maybe I'm just weird


hmm...sammy adams is a tad cheap. mebbe i'll mix and match, and get a couple of that as well as the shenandoah brew previously mentioned. thanks. :)

The Old Man said...

Getcher butt over to Rocky River Brewing Company and try some of Matt's Oompa Loompa Stout. What's your favorite store?

Breda said...

Old Man - Warehouse Beverage in South Euclid has a BRILLIANT beer selection. Totally amazing!