cast ballots

Today Ohio will vote itself a gloriously tragic, shortsighted and yet stupidly inevitable economic seppuku.

Elsewhere is looking better and better every day.

I know!

Maybe the girls of OWS should have a slut walk! Or walk in groups, rape whistles in hand. Or, hey, maybe they could all wear burqas!

Free, but not easy.

Or, perhaps, just perhaps...they could aspire to the same liberty of the Tea Party protester shown above.

(h/t Snarkybytes)

les misérables

“This is its own city. Within every city there are people who freeload, who make people’s lives miserable. We just deal with it. We can’t kick them out.” 

- Michael Glaser, a 26-year-old Occupier of Wall Street

I feel ya, buddy. I really, really do. 

remember all those rapes at Tea Parties?

Yeah, me neither.

But a bunch of self-proclaimed feminist pacifists all working for social justice and fighting for human rights and equality are reportedly, at least in some small way, condoning rape?* What? How? This cannot possibly be true!

But no, it's not fake - and it seems to be a trend. The organizers of Occupy Cleveland (where there has been a documented rape) are planning to "reach out" and offer counseling so that another such incident will not occur.

So, yeah - the Occupiers' answer to rapists in their midst seems to be holding hands around the drum circle chanting, "Rape is bad, mkay?" while passing a bong, crapping on police cars and begging for someone else to pay off all those student loans (that they voluntarily took on, mind you) for their womyn's studies/interpretive dance degree. Oh, and they also insist that rapists will not be "welcome" at Occupy events. Shunned by hippies, that'll teach 'em.

The 99% does not speak for me.

* Rape-rape, you know.

hometown heroes

Famous for having a river that caught on fire, topping the 2010 Forbes list of most miserable cities, and being the home of sports teams that can never quite win, even our disgruntled hippie protests kind of suck...

Occupy Cleveland looks pretty...unoccupied.

(via Sacbee)

welcome to the party

righteous indignation and requisite glasses

Oh, honey, I know! Isn't it just awful?

That's why I started marching all the way back in 2009.

Totally Stupid, Actually

The TSA let this woman get on an airplane with a tiny gun shaped object!

Barely.

And just imagine, the government allows these people to feel up your grandma.

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this year's hot new accessory

I do not know what the heck goes on at New York's fashion week...

But at least they've got Rule 3 figured out.

(if you've got time and/or a serious case of boredom, hit that link. Much WTFLOLery.)

9/11...

...a day to bow your head in remembrance.

Got your pocket Constitution?

If this Ohio policeman is so blasé about confiscating mere video cameras and violating 1st Amendment rights, just imagine how eager he'd be to take away your oh-so-dangerous firearms. For the public good. And, you know, to protect his pension.



Just following orders, ma'am.

David & Goliath

(via The Daily Mail)

You lost me

While watching the film Law Abiding Citizen -

Good Guys #s 1 & 2 (the DA and a detective), breaking into a storage unit owned by Bad Guy.

Good Guy #1: "What about his civil rights?"

Good Guy #2: "Fuck his civil rights."

Breda: "..........I really hope that guy's dead by the end of the movie."


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when prevention isn't

Hardly seemed possible, but they've finally found something more useless than a whistle.

Getting raped? Be sure to arm yourself with a smartphone - because the White House will soon have an app for that.

Kimber J. Nicoletti-Martinez, director of multicultural efforts to end sexual assault at Purdue University, has some design suggestions:

“Maybe people could add more components to it to ask people to confront their beliefs,” about what causes sexual assault, she said—like building an app that resembles Angry Birds. “Is there some kind of bird you can fling against misogynistic attitudes?”

Sigh. 

Isn't there some sort of device that would fling heavy metal projectiles at high rates of speed directly at, and hopefully through the vital organs of, your attacker?

(Radical idea, I know, but I suspect it could be very effective.)

what gun for banana?

Large tropical fruit at large after fight with embarrassed gorilla.

(No word on the whereabouts of a certain law enforcement officer.)

let's be frank

It's a full moon today and I know this without even looking at the calendar.

...because someone just walked into the library dressed like a hot dog.


(not a Weiner)

overkill (no casualties)

Local SWAT team deployed because, umm...

puppetmaster

When I saw the headline on Drudge, I initially thought it was some sort of political joke. (Oh, and I was so right. In a way.) "Kucinich shows off ventriloquism skills..." it said and I was giddy thinking that possibly, maybe, the story would include ol' kooky Dennis playing with a ventriloquist's dummy. I crossed my fingers and hoped, "please, please, PLEASE show him with a puppet" and clicked the link...

YES!

Except, OHDEARGODNO...

Kucinich had his hand puppet sing "God Bless America," and the weirdness of it all prompted Oliver to ask, "How do you keep winning elections?"

"You're going to have to ask Dennis," said Kucinich, via his puppet.

I may have nightmares.

bath bomb

I ran across this fun little item somewhere in the interwebs last night and immediately went to the website.
"Hey!" I thought. "It's soap! Shaped like a grenade! Neato." (they also have baby head soap, both available in a variety of colors and scents.) It's made here in Ohio and at $9, it'd make fun gift. As an added incentive, they donate 1% from each grenade sale to the Wounded Warrior Project. Cool, right?

Then I got to the disclaimer at the end of the page. I just couldn't believe it. It reads:

STINKYBOMB DISCLAIMER:
THIS ITEM SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN ON AIRPLANES. DO NOT BUY THIS ITEM AND THEN GIVE IT TO SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO STEP ON A PLANE. DO NOT ASSUME THAT PUTTING IT IN YOUR CHECK IN LUGGAGE WILL ALLOW THE SOAP TO PASS ANY AIRPORT SECURITY SCANNERS.

Really, TSA? Seriously?

well, then.

I guess Obama is doomed - seems he's succumbed to licking the third rail to court his liberal, liberty-hating base.

(between rounds, of course.)

You keep using that word...

Obama will be visiting Northern Michigan University, staying about 3 hours and giving some remarks. The speech in the university's Superior Dome sports facility is open to the public by invitation only.

I work in a public library. All reference assistance shall now, henceforth, and forever, be by invitation only. (By order of the President.) Thank you.