Help!

I was kidnapped by evil librarians and forced to attend a workshop!

I learned all about our library system's multiple biography databases today from an older librarian who oh-so disturbingly kept using the expression "quick & dirty." (I'm sure she's a lovely woman but is not my ideal mental image when those words spring to mind.) The databases are not even worthy of a class, to be honest. They involve typing in a search term and then clicking on various links until you find the information you need. But the presenter was not deterred. She had to present her Powerpoint presentation! Each slide was shown on the projector and also on paper handouts - which were then read aloud to us. Fascinating.

When I had to spell "Pocahontas" for the librarian leading the workshop I mentally checked out. I'm pretty sure things devolved into a hen party with the other attendees griping and/or trading humorous stories about library patrons, but I can't be sure. I was happily reading blogs by that time, giving the person sitting behind me an eyeful of firearms. Needless to say, no one was quick to chat with me after class.

Earlier this week, I got an invitation to attend a 40-hour workshop on library career development. One of the sessions was cryptically titled "Attitude and Accountability." Sorry, but the only way I would even consider attending was if I was allowed to show up drunk and shout snide comments from the back of the room.