Friday, April 18, 2008


Every year when Secretary's Day rolls around, bosses across the nation buy their secretaries flowers, take them out to lunch, give them the afternoon off. Now, I have no problem with a boss saying thank you or giving some small token for a job well done but this has spiralled into a Valentine's Day-esque, Hallmark-driven cycle of guilt and gifts. The secretaries whine about how they work so hard and do so much and the bosses come across with the gifts to shut them up. No wonder some guys call their secretaries their "work wives."

If I recall correctly, secretaries do get a paycheck. You work, you get a paycheck - that is your reward. Anything other than that should be considered to be the extra special icing on your already tasty cake, but God help any boss that doesn't remember Secretary's Day - they're doomed to suffer a year's worth of "accidental" misfiling and snarky eyerolling until it's gift-giving time again and they have the chance to redeem themselves.

This year Secretary's Day is next week, on April 23...but did you know that there was another "National Day of Recognition" just three days ago? April 15 was National Library Workers Day.

(I'm sure the greeting card is in the mail, right?)

And, hey, just the day before, on the 14th, I decided to give one of my patrons a gift. She said to me, after I had just helped her with multiple reference questions requiring me to run around the library, "Gee. And here I thought lieberrians didn't do anything. I thought you just sat around and collected a paycheck."

I let her keep her teeth. Aren't I nice? I'm such a giver.


Jim said...


I will tell you that I appreciate how much librarians actually do.

I'm a young guy, but I'd still rather read then do just about anything else. I can't count the number of times a librarian has sent me in the direction of a new book that I end up enjoying.

Thank you for all that you do!


Anonymous said...

I know how much of a pain in the ass I've been at the library - and I'm nice and polite! I can only imagine.

Assrot said...

I gave my secretary $250 for a Christmas bonus last December and a week off with pay. This was in addition to her regular annual, paid vacation and other benefits I pay for out of my pocket.

The ungrateful bitch went behind my back talking shit about what a cheapskate I am. She told people she knows what kind of money I make and that I could have done much better on her Christmas bonus.

I asked her if what I had heard about the way she talked about me was true. She begrudgingly admitted it and tried to explain why I should give her more.

She is the highest paid secretary I know and I treat her very well.

I fired her gotdam ass and told her what an ungrateful bitch she is. I also told her not to put me down for a reference.

The bitch is a cashier at the local Walmart now. Serves her right.


P.S. - Never look a gift horse in the mouth. Am I wrong?

Earl said...

Well, from one to another (Library Worker) happy work HOLIDAY - no one noticed me either. They will miss me when I am gone.

Lydia said...

I believe you need a few beers. Let's not forget that the library system you work for is on a city full of amazingly stupid people, lazy fools, and other assorted morons who think reading is a chore.

I saw a news piece the other day about a 70 year old man enrolled in first grade. He's so happy he can read for the first time, he was crying. Let the fools learn what true pain is when they can't sign the paycheck they collect.

vinnie said...

I always thought that Google wanted to be a librarian when it grew up. If you are expecting to be payed what you are worth you are doomed to disappointment, there isn't enough money. The best that I can afford is gratitude and respect.

Tam said...

"Let's not forget that the library system you work for is on a city full of amazingly stupid people, lazy fools, and other assorted morons who think reading is a chore."

I think you just described Earth.

Burnt Toast said...


Christina LMT said...

@ Tam: LOL!

Breda, I admire your forbearance at letting the ignorant lieberry patron keep her teeth.

And I despise all those Hallmark-created "holidays". Just do your job, people, and be grateful you have one. Anything extra is icing.

Happy belated Library Workers' Day...I had no idea!

Jeffrey Quick said...

So howscome Lieberry Workers' Day is on Tax Day? Nobody told me either. And I know they're still hiding National Shoot-A-Library-Patron Day from me.

bob said...

Even before seeing your site, I have thought for years that reference librarians are an absolute blessing.