Well, I knew it had to happen someday.
A woman just called looking for the book "Everyone Poops" and proceeded to give me the details of her daughter's bathroom habits.
"She's having problems in that area. She says it hurts and then she stops trying to go."
"Umm..." I replied.
"I mean, she's gone pee in the potty, she's good at that part, but she has trouble with pooping."
"Umm..." I said again.
"And I thought that maybe I could get that book and we could read it together while she's on the potty so she'd learn that everyone poops, and... "
I interrupted. "Okay. The book is checked out, would you like to place a request for it?" I silently reminded myself to get a hazmat suit and maybe a pair of long handled tongs if I ever came across that book in the stacks.
"It's checked out? Oh no! I really needed it today. Do you have anything similar that might work? She's very constipated and she's afraid of pooping now. The doctor says it's normal but she just won't push because it hurts." The little girl started screaming in the background and the mother sighed. "She just really needs to poop."
A strong cup of coffee has always worked for me, but I couldn't possibly suggest that. "Would you like to speak to the children's librarian...?" (Or someone whose idea of child care doesn't involve a roll of duct tape and a bottle of children's Tylenol?)
I transferred the call, thinking that perhaps cleaning the litterbox isn't so bad after all.