Thursday, October 23, 2008

Death & taxes

Barack Obama thinks that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody.

Note he says "the wealth." What wealth does he mean?

Yours.

(And don't forget, Joe Biden thinks that the government taking your money in the form of taxes is patriotic. )

So everyone, right now, get out your checkbooks. I want you to write a check to The U.S. Department of the Treasury. They say that "collecting taxes in a fair and consistent manner" is their core mission. You trust that, don't you? So make out the check for say, $1000 and sign it. Now get an envelope, put the check in it and seal it up. Address it (Department of the Treasury, 1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, D.C. 20220) and put a stamp on it. Now walk to the nearest post office and drop it in the mailbox. Watch that envelope leave your hand. Remember, your hard-earned money is inside. Think about how many hours you had to work to make that $1000.

And now, know this...someone else will spend your money.

There now, don't you feel patriotic? (what, no?)

Anyway, we hear a lot about taxes, especially at election time. Tax cuts, tax credits, tax plans, tax benefits...all those percentages and numbers and wow, it can really get confusing, right? (okay, maybe it's just me.) So while I was strolling through the grocery store the other day I was pondering the whole mess and I think came up with an analogy...

Let's say you have this acquaintance. Let's call him Sam. In the past, Sam's been willing to lend a hand to neighbors and has even saved you in a bar fight. He's that sort of guy - seems to be a decent chap. So, one day, Sam shows up on your doorstep and you let him inside. "Hey," he says. "I have a membership to this awesome new store. I can get you stuff no one else can!"

"Um...okay. Sounds great," you say.

Sam takes a step toward you and pulls out a gun, aiming it at your head. "Give me money. NOW. You look hungry and I want to go buy you some food."

Naturally at this point, you're frightened and handing over your wallet. "Awesome!" Sam says. "This is going to be great. I'm going to take care of you."

A little while later, Sam returns, shopping bags in hand. You know that he is still armed, so you don't even try to resist him. You look in the bags and find only beets and peanut butter.

You say, "Hey, wait a minute! I hate beets...and I have a severe peanut allergy. You spent my money on things that I can't use!"

"Oh, no. You're wrong. I know what's best for you. Peanuts butter and beets." Sam says, taking out his gun again. "Give me some more money. I forgot to get you some milk."

"But I'm lactose intolerant!"

"Don't be silly," he says, pressing the muzzle of his gun against your temple. "I really do know what's best for you. Oh, and while you're at it, I want some extra money this time. I want to buy some steaks and beer for the homeless guy on the corner."

So Sam's just spreading the wealth. It's patriotic! It's good for everybody! (except, perhaps, you.)

15 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

That Sam guy seems like the southbound end of a northbound horse.

BobG said...

And the steaks and beer are going to the people who didn't give him Sam any money.

Wai said...

The next time Sam comes around, he's going to get shot, with extreme prejudice, by the "militia" that has formed in the time he went out to get the milk.

"Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." -Confucius-

Damn...I gotta go put a few hundred rounds of 10mm Auto downrange again soon.

Breda said...

bobg, I'm totally editing that in!

reflectoscope said...

Brilliant :)

w/v: outlite. No kidding. The typical state of one's emergency flashlight maybe?

Mike said...

The most important thing I ever did for my political education was become self employed. Writing quarterly tax payments really drove home the point of just how much I pay in taxes. Which got me thinking, and made me realize that taxes ARE theft.

If you don't pay your taxes, the state uses force or the threat of force to compel you to pay. The only difference between sam the not-so-helpful-mugger and the IRS is that the IRS has legal standing.

Makes me ill.

Old NFO said...

Excellent post Breda- Here's one for ya...

Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "Vote Obama, I need the money." I laughed.

Once in the restaurant my server had on a "Obama 08" tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference -- just imagine the coincidence.

When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need--the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $5 and told him to thank the server inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the server was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn, without his consideration of whether I should have even have don’t that; though in my opinion the actual recipient needed the server’s money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.

Breda said...

old nfo, you rock.

phlegmfatale said...

that was hilarious, old nfo.

good analogy, breda

BobG said...

"The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets".
-Will Rogers

docjim505 said...

old nfo,

Man, that was great! Sad thing is, the waiter will probably STILL voted for The Annointed One because, like, you know, it's, like, totally not FAIR that, like, some people have, like, lots of money and other people, like, you know, don't.

Socialism looks good to only three types of people:

1. Those with no money

2. Those who think they will control who gets the money, or at least that "bad" people will "pay"

3. The insane

Wai said...

We should all go follow the same example that Old NFO set.

Gator said...

And to add injury to insult, it's entirely possible that the server will pay taxes on the tip that he should have received.

ytba said...

"Be polite, please."

killjoy!

"Barack Obama thinks that when you spread the wealth around, it's good for everybody."

Nope. That's what he wants US to think. What HE thinks is that in the process of "spreading the wealth around" he and his friends can tap into it, just like they did with their cash-cows Freddie and Fannie.

ytba said...

OH, YES...

...you may be interrested in this amusing link (Disney, by the look of it)

...from here...


H/T "Mike's America" from Flopping Aces, post #4.

...see post #7 there for more info on some of Obama's "friends."