Monday, October 13, 2008

knockknock

For two hours* yesterday, during a gorgeous autumn afternoon, Mike and I went door-to-door for the GOP campaign and since I like taking walks in the sunshine and meeting new people, it was actually kind of fun.

Except for the dogs - I forgot about the dogs. Being a cat person, I block out forget that other people oftentimes have very large beasts in their homes that will freak out when you ring the bell, throwing themselves at the door and making enough of a ruckus to wake the dead. I had two terriers when I was growing up so I don't dislike dogs, not at all. They are perfectly lovely creatures and fine companions. But after years of living with only cats, to me dogs seem a little...crazy. Unpredictable. All that barking and jumping. And the slobber. (& don't get me started on the crotch sniffing - how rude.)

Anyway, at the third house I went up to, I heard a loud barking. A loud baritone barking. I looked up from my clipboard only to find the dog making eye contact with me though the window. Now, I know I'm not that tall, but when a predator is big enough to look me in the eye I tend to start considering my fight or flight options. But I had a duty, I was volunteering! So I took two steps back and plastered a big, nervous smile on my face, hoping for the best. A very friendly, nice man answered the door, his hand wrapped around the collar of the biggest Great Dane I've ever seen in my life.

"Hi! My name is...umm..." The dog barked right in my face and the little speech I'd prepared flew right out of my head. Right, okay. Deep breath. I tried again. "My name is Breda and I'm volunteering for the Republican party. And, wow. That is one GIANT dog. Ha, ha. Nice doggie. Can I ask you a few really quick questions?" I said this as fast as I could because I was sure the dog could smell my cats (and my fear) and would, at any moment, lunge at me and bite my face clean off my skull.

The man nodded agreeably and then asked, "Don't you like dogs?"

"Oh, no, I like dogs - just usually in much, um...smaller doses." I laughed nervously.

He grinned as the dog settled down to a low growl. "You shouldn't worry. He's really very nice and, honestly, we only let him go after Obama supporters."

Well then. Mark one down for McCain. (and yes, he was kidding. I'm almost 100% sure.)
_______________________

* yes, only 2 hours! You too can volunteer! Call the campaign headquarters today! DO IT.

8 comments:

Jay G said...

"He's really very nice and, honestly, we only let him go after Obama supporters."

I don't care who you are, that's funny right there...

Willorith said...

When a dog, however nice it may be, looks at his master with those beguiling eyes, the dog is thinking "my ancestors used to eat your ancestors, and some day I will eat you". That is when the dog smiles.

malger said...

We have one of those in our neighborhood. We kid the ... owner (who owns whom in that relationship?) ... asking him how much it costs to board that horse in the city.

But he's such a sweet puppy. Yess he iizzz!

M

Ted said...

That dog must be racist, going after Obama supporters.

Sparrow said...

Good for you that you gave of your time to support the campaign! I just wish McCain would support himself a little bit stronger...*sigh*...

DirtCrashr said...

Great Danes are the most dangerous when they want pets and hugs and tummy rubs and *lurve.* They can be agressively friendly and don't know their own strength - but there's not a mean bone in them.

theedgeofreason said...

Our two knuckleheads seem pretty vicious until you get into the house, then all they want to do is climb into your lap. You can't help but smile when a 70 pound drool factory things he is a lap dog.

dr mac said...

Its been proven that dogs are better protection than a home security system.

However, you knew that, right ?

All I ask of my sweet chocolate lab is she give me a 20-30 seconds heads up for trouble. However, I also know she'd give her life for me. So, I put up with the slobber.