Friday, June 19, 2009

this just in!

It was recently reported that a woman standing about 5 feet tall, wearing blue jeans, a Wonder Woman tshirt and carrying a loaded firearm, visited a coffeeshop at about 7:30 AM. She stood in line with other customers and waited her turn. She ordered two cups of coffee and a bacon breakfast sandwich and left without incident.

This same armed woman also went to see the newest Disney film the afternoon of the day in question. She paid for her ticket, decided against popcorn, and then sat alone in the half empty theater. She and the other movie-goers, many of them children, donned their 3D glasses and sat engrossed for a little over an hour and a half. Following the movie, the woman went home and did laundry, still carrying a loaded pistol. No shots were fired.

Later that evening, the woman went to a grocery story. She casually walked past the other shoppers - senior citizens, harried businessmen on their way home from work, and even mothers pushing babies in their carts - all while having a loaded gun in the holster on her belt. She bought a pint of blueberries and a six pack of IPA, disproving the widely held belief that a gun in the presence of alcohol will invariably cause bloodshed and mayhem.

Be on the lookout for this individual - she is rumored to be a librarian and is sometimes known to carry a spare magazine, just in case.

20 comments:

Alan said...

Extra magazine... As if the deathstare wasn't enough.

rickn8or said...

How close was the IPA to the Deadly Engine of Destruction??
Tennessee Theory holds that less than ten feet separation will result in uncontrolled chain reaction.
(I have informally disproved that that theory on numerous occasions.)

Anonymous said...

OMG the humanity!

Mike W. said...

I guess your deathstare counteracts the jedi mind control of the Bersa Thunder.

reflectoscope said...

...and then! Nothing happened.

Jim

Warthog said...

Sounds like a dangerous little thing walking the streets. I shall contact Mike to have her thoroughly searched and detained.

Bradley said...

atleast it was a good beer, an IPA and not MGD or a Coors Light :D

Robert Langham said...

Was this pistol worn inplain sight, to the terror of the public, or concealed?

xpo172 said...

OMG, like what magazine was it?
Harpers Bazar?

JKB said...

Whoa, talk about being prepared. A gun in case someone needs protecting and a a spare magazine in case they need something to read. Now there is a caring librarian.

Earl said...

Interesting, but then some would find it unusual, I did get enough loud Hawaiian shirts to hide several dangerous things under, and lots of extra pounds of the better than I needed life.


cureneat wv, yep my goal in life

Old NFO said...

Good! Glad you are proving we are not all bloodthirsty gun slingers...

Christina LMT said...

What?! And no blood was flowing in the streets? I'm shocked.

No, not really!

W/V "berses" Plural of "Bersa?"

The Old Man said...

Young lady, if you need someone to watch your Death Machine while you shop to ensure it will not endanger *the voters*, call me. I'm in Fairview Park....

Gotcher six....

The Old Man said...

BTW - you and Mike should both visit "Fathead's Saloon" in North Olmsted. GOOD beer and BBQ (in the traditional sense).

Steve said...

On of our local theaters allegedly has a small notecard tacked to the back wall of one of the ticket booths that says "no firearms allowed". Good thing I always buy my tickets at the machine in the lobby, and bypass the ticket boothes. If my firearm knew someone didn't want it there, it might get mad and go on a shooting spree.

scott said...

wife wants to shoot w/ u and Tam

Anonymous said...

Open Carry?

Aegis said...

What sort of IPA?

Breda said...

concealed carry & Sierra Nevada Torpedo