Tuesday, August 11, 2009

haute dogs

I've always wanted to own a hot dog shop. I love a good hot dog (heck, I even like bad hot dogs) and years ago, I watched "A Hot Dog Program" on PBS. I was instantly charmed by the idea of owning a little hole in the wall eatery where I could sell nothing but grilled all-beef hot dogs with a buffet of toppings to choose from, and perhaps some chips and soda on the side. I've been talking about my hot dog shop for years and am constantly upgrading the place, if only in my imagination. We recently got wifi and are considering veggie dogs.

So last night, during our 2 hour drive back from Camp Perry, I entertained myself by thinking about my entrepreneurial adventure. All of a sudden, I had an idea. "Hey! When I get my hot dog shop, I think I'll open carry."

Mike said, "Then you could call it Lawdog's."

"Oooh! Do you think he'd let us? That'd be awesome...and this is SO getting blogged." I was grinning. "Oh my gosh, wait! We could do a line of hot dogs named after bloggers...what would a 'Lawdog' have on it?"

Mike considered for a moment and said, "Well, I don't know...but I don't think we should have a 'Phlegmmy' on the menu..."

Ew. (although maybe we should, come to think of it.)

So now I've been coming up with ideas for hot dogs based on my favorite bloggers...perhaps a foot long for Tam because she's so tall, a charred dog with a utensil sticking out of it for Robert Langham (black, fork - get it?), a hot dog cut into bite-sized pieces for Snarkybytes, something devilishly spicy with a side of cole slaw for Snowflakes in Hell, and a special currywurst sandwich for the Munchkin Wrangler. An Atomic Nerd dog would definitely have to be microwaved, a Huffman would come with a side of french fried Idaho potatoes and a PDB would be topped with a not-so healthy serving of poutine.

Mike suggested a hot dog with a side of amphetamines for Caleb, but I think a large cup of strong black coffee might be better.

And for me? Well, I can't decide if I should do a simple bacon wrapped hot dog or if I should go all out and serve an "octodog" as my signature dish.
______________________

I'd love to hear your recipe for your favorite blogger! Leave it in the comments!

52 comments:

Anonymous said...

I cut the dogs into circles and stick spaghetti through them. Then, we boil them. Kids love them. Call them octopus.

-SayUncle

Johnnyreb™ said...

Cheese and Salsa!

Sigboy said...

Jay G of MArooned gets to be ketchup with a side of relish

New Jovian Thunderbolt has the 'undead dog' cold meat and a crispy bun.

Jay G said...

Heh. Great theme!

I like Sigboy's, but I'd have to say that the MArooned hot dog would be a Hebrew National on a sourdough bun, with diced onions and spicy mustard.

And since I'm in MA, you would order whole dog but the state would take half...

Alan said...

The Brady:

Just the bun, no meat.

Mad Saint Jack said...

Farmer Frank Corndogs.

Alan said...

The Al Gore:


A sliced wiener served on a waffle.

Justin Buist said...

The 'Robb Allen' would come with no bun.

Alan said...

The Obama:

You pay for your hot dog but you don't get to eat it. Instead it's given to a bum back in the alley.

Sigboy said...

The Mausers and Muffins dog takes longer because it has to be made from scratch, and that includes the bun.
But what are the toppings? I got it, red peppers.

Adam said...

The CueBall: a foot long wrapped in bacon, deep fried then topped with cheese.

David said...

Can a plain dog be "Void Where Prohibited"? :)

Caleb said...

The "Ahab"

Two half-sized hot dogs in one bun, topped with hot sauce.

Ambulance Driver said...

The Caleb dog would have to be a cocktail weiner or Vienna sausage served on a tiny little bun, with served with black coffee.

The Ambulance Driver would be a link of andouille sausage on a hoagie bun, topped with crawfish etouffee.

Newbius said...

Half-Smoked on a sourdough roll, with cheese sauce, sauerkraut, chopped onions, and hot peppers with a smear of dijon mustard.

It only bites if you attack it first...

Aaron said...

What Breda (breed of) dog do you like? I like the big Hebrew National ones, but try to buy the 97% fat free ones so I don't end up wearing them around my middle.

pdb said...

I respectfully request to be changed to a Hebrew National footlong covered in chili, cole slaw, chopped onions and mustard. Because that's how dawgs are served here in Civilization,,, err North Carolina.

Breda said...

I like the Hebrew Nationals too - I usually get the jumbo franks.

Farmgirl said...

Hmmm, normally I would say that the Farmgirl would have to be a burger rather than a hotdog, but since you only plan to serve hotdogs, I'm going to go for my childhood favorite-

Regular hotdog sliced down the middle (but not all the way through) stuffed with sliced American cheese, baked, and topped with ketchup and McCormick's Season All.

With a bun, it'd be a Farmgirl-on-horseback.

Lorimor said...

Hornet fans love a good chili dog. Maybe with a little pepper jack cheese grated on top.

And as everyone knows, purists like a little 2400 in the mix, but not to exceed 10 grs.

:)

Eric R. Shelton said...

Justin Buist beat me to it, but I must agree- the Robb Allen has no bun.

Top of the Chain said...

The Larry Correia dog, whatever you put on it would be of monstrous proportions.

The Don Gwynn, or the Carteach, cause it would be boiled just like in school.

The Oleg Volk, a work of art. Only a master chef could create this hot dog.

TBeck said...

Dog-Gun-It

Old NFO said...

Half smoke with onions, green peppers and hot mustard!

And Tums as a desert... :-)

Mark Alger said...

The BabyTroll, a spicy miniature kielbasa on whatever bun turns you on, Bay-bee.

Toppings: get some on you -- more usually does the trick.

M

trebor1415 said...

My version of the ObamaDog would the dog you are required to buy that then would be cut up and distributed to everyone else in line.

loki said...

Just so you don't serve the John Bobbitt.

wv: render -- no comment

West, By God said...

Dang, I'm getting hungry.

The West By God Dog would definitely be a trout-dog served with bacon-fried ramps.

lv4921391 said...

monday i watched the food network and Guy Fieri feature "Fab Hot Dogs" they liked the deep fried on,i'll try it this week



http://www.yelp.com/biz/fab-hot-dogs-reseda-2

phlegmfatale said...

I think the phlegmmy would have to arrive on plate festooned with gooey cheese, an evil degree of hot pepper and probably wrapped in lace-up vinyl.

But that's just me.

I can't wait until you have your hotdog shop!

phlegmfatale said...

Alan - the weenie on the Obamadog should be boiled, I think.

Bob said...

Me? Give me a couple of Howard Johnson's "grilled in butter" hot dogs from the old ice cream parlor, with a milk shake to go along with them.

Brad_in_MA said...

My, my, my, my, my. Does no one who reads Breda live anywhere near Chicago? Has no one who lurks around this site not had a true Chicago hot dog made with an all-beef Vienna dog on a poppyseed bun? They are beyond insane, beyond reaching true Nirvana, beyond the Valhalla of all 'dogs passed. Call it a 'Chicago Typewriter' after the mod-1928 Thompson sub-gun.

- Brad

Caleb said...

I'd just like to point out that all of you people who put anything other than mustard on your hot dogs are bad, awful people. Damn near communists, actually.

cybrus said...

The California dog would be a picture of a hotdog stamped with IOU. You'd have to pay the price of a real hotdog though.

Sebastian said...

Spicy with a side of cole-slaw is very apt considering that's basically what I've been doing with my new smoking hobby.

Food smoking I mean, not the kind of smoking that Obama does.

Weer'd Beard said...

If you want a taste of Maine, you need to grill up one of these fuckers:
http://exiles.stores.yahoo.net/redhotdogs.html

Char it at tad, and serve it with brown mustard, fired onions and some relish on a toasted bun.

For Extra credit, serve with thick-cut fresh fries drizzled with salt and vinegar!

This sounds like a filthy good idea, Breda!

And the pervs won't surf porn in your shop!

mac said...

I'm thinking the Bredadog should be served with Stadium Mustard regardless of its construction. It is the best spicy brown mustard made. Until recently, it was only available in the greater CLE area.

You don't need a fancy device to make the Octodog. My wife's been making our kids them for years. She uses scissors.

ExurbanKevin said...

Good grief, had I known that hot dogs were a gastronomical obsession of yours, I'd have mentioned Ted's Hot Dogs (rated as one of the best hot dogs in America by Gourmet Magazine) to you when you came here for the NRA convention.

Oh well, there's always next time.

Lissa said...

Guess that leaves me to grab the Fenway Franks?

Methinks the LissaDog would be a PretzelDog served with a cookie :)

David said...

I don't know which gun blogger this would be but I want mine with sweet mustard, kraut, chili, onions, cheese, and a 1911 on the side.

Peter said...

The Bayou Renaissance Dog:

1. A foot-long roll of home-baked wheat bread, seasoned with sage and rosemary.

2. A foot-long boudin sausage seasoned with andouille.

3. A crawfish etouffée topping. Yes, I know Ambulance Driver's already using it, but he's not the only one in Louisiana!

4. Cheese would be spicy Pepper Jack with habaneros, for heat and bite.

Serve with a side of New Orleans coffee.

Yum!

Christina LMT said...

The Christina LMT/Lucrative Pain hot dog?

All-beef dog, chopped finely. Served in a bowl with extra-sharp cheddar cheese and extra-spicy salsa.

DEEE-LISH!

But get your massage first, before you eat!

phlegmfatale said...

Oh, and the LawDog-- my personal favorite-- would consist of an English banger on a classic hotdog bun smothered in a righteous portion of Wolf Brand™ chili with a sidecar of Velveeta & Ro-Tel dipping sauce. Jalapenos available upon request.

On a Wing and a Whim said...

phlegmmy just needs better marketing - make her suggested dog and call it the Fatale instead!

salamandertales said...

Salamander's famous hot-dog:

- Any good dog and good bun

- A bit of ketchup or catsup

- Top with Cole Slaw

- over that add a handful of crushed Lay's potoato chip.

YUM!

Davidwhitewolf said...

Methinks the Random Nuclear Strikes dog would involve lots of chili.

ASM826 said...

Arizona Sonoran
This dog is wrapped in bacon, then topped with tomatoes, onions, cheese, salsa, beans, mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard, then traditionally served with a fresh-roasted chile on the side.

Roberta X said...

The Roberta X dog: shows up late, if ever, and it's damn near incomprehensible.
;)

HollyB said...

Holly's Hystrionic Dawg [it MUST be spelled that way] is a Hebrew National, sliced down the middle, stuffed with cheese and wrapped with bacon and grilled. It's served on a bed of Kraut, topped with Wolf brand Chili, sharp cheddar and chopped onions. No Bun, I'm watching my carbs.

AmericanMercenary said...

LOL, Why not have an Army dog? Dijon mustard for service in France, Liberty Cabbage (aka saurkraut) for service in Germany, a sprinkling of curry powder for service in India and southeast Asia, served with ice water for service in the deserts of North Africa and the Middle east, with a side of cheese grits (aka polenta) for service in Italy and the American South and a slice of kimcheed cucumber in place of a pickle for service in Korea?

Sounds pretty good to me.

hpcc19 said...

If you really want to start a hole-in-the wall hot dog shop you could do worse than a Sam's franchise.
http://www.samshotdogs.com/
I expect they are reasonably priced.

I have never lived in or visited upstate New York but the Rochester/Buffalo/Syracuse axis has by far the best hot dogs in America Wardynski's, Zweigles, Sahlens, Hoffman's etc.are all superior pork/beef wieners from an area that still has a wonderful sausage making tradition