Saturday, July 17, 2010

meat on a stick

Each year, the nearby Catholic church puts on an "Oktoberfest in July" festival with all the requisites: games, Chinese auction, polka band, beer, gambling, rides, and food - lots of food - which is really the only reason Mike and I ever go, aside from the people watching.

I had had the schnitzel the evening before and so decided last night that I'd have a salad for supper and a corndog for a late night snack. We ventured down around 9pm, when the festival was in full swing. It was a warm summer night, the band was playing, the rides were all lit up and spinning, people were dancing, carnies were giving away prizes, kids were sticky with cotton candy - needless to say, the place was packed. I was walking through the crowd, smiling and enjoying the quintessential carnival-ness of it all when suddenly, I found myself laying on on my side. Someone had barreled into me, knocking me down to the pavement.

Falling is strange sensation. It happens so fast and yet, somehow, it feels as if it's in slow motion, all at the same time. There is time enough for your brain to register what's going on, feel shock, start pumping adrenaline, and utter the expletive of your choice. But there never seems to be enough time to stop it from happening - gravity's got you, you hit the ground, and then what? That's the part that matters.

Me? I was five feet of fury. I quickly rolled over, grabbed onto the forearm of the person who had crashed into me, and used it to pull myself up. Only then did I notice it was a big clumsy kid who had probably just been horsing around with his friends. Still gripping his arm, I leaned closer and growled something like "Be careful!" in his ear before pushing him away and back into the crowd.

I brushed myself off and assessed the damage. My hand hurt and my neck was twingey but I was okay and I still wanted my corndog. By the time I had it in hand, I was laughing - poor kid looked like he was going to wet his pants.


Alan said...

"Five Feet of Fury"

If they ever make a movie about Breda, that will be the title.

Fred said...

Hell hath no fury like that of a knocked down librarian?

Mike W. said...

poor kid looked like he was going to wet his pants.

did you inadvertently give him a mini-deathstare?

Groundhog said...

Oh Breda,

Had I only known this was going to happen I could have posted a link to this article on gravity sooner! Seems certain scientist claim that gravity is now just an illusion so you needn't have fallen at all. Now to be fair, I did find the link to the article on the Huffington Post, and yes, it did lead to the New York Times. But before you grab the pitchforks and torches let me explain that I only go to those websites for a wide variety of emotional stimulation (usually outrage). Huffpo is also good for physical relief, much as a dog eats grass to sooth an upset stomach (hurl). But never the less, gravity not being real could have REALLY helped you out in that situation! Here's the link if you're curious:

Dan said...

Five feet of fury...that's hardly time to think about falling. Imagine how long I have to worry when, at 6'7", the cat cuts me off in the kitchen!

I hope you're alright. Good thing you didn't draw on him.

Anonymous said...

If you've got animals or children in the house, you msu be nimble of foot. Every time the grandkids leave I KNOW I'm going to dind a lego with my bare feet. And the dog? He does it on purpose!

JohnMXL said...

I'm picturing the scene in "The Long Kiss Goodnight" when Geena Davis' character vaults over a garden wall carrying (as I recall) a suppressed Ruger 10/22 and confronts one of the kids she used to teach.

There IS a distinct altitude difference between you and Ms. Davis but I suspect your attitude might have compensated.

rickn8or said...


But women and minorities are the most affected by gravity...

WV: culnes. How Tam might, in a lighthearted moment, spell "coolness" on her blog.

DirtCrashr said...

We had meat-on-a-stick at the annual Buddhist Obon Festival, and little tykes who were taiko drumming.

word: beadism -- the rosary?