Sunday, August 15, 2010

FOTUS got back

Now you all know I'm no great fan of Michelle Obama but this photo, under the caption "Leaders' wives...," made my heart hurt for her a bit.

Her personal shopper is doing her a great disservice - in an attempt to camouflage certain physical attributes, she ends up looking like the housekeeper.

It's something that any American woman with any exposure at all to fashion magazines will recognize. It seems like every issue has an article on how to be leggier, thinner, taller, less curvy, more curvy, bigger breasted, smaller breasted...all through the magic of certain clothing choices. For instance, because I'm petite and somewhat curvy, magazines have told me that I should never wear capri pants, lest I suffer the horror that is (gasp!) short legs. But being 5'0" tall and long past striving to go through life as an optical illusion, I pulled on a pair of capris just this morning. I mean, there comes a point where no matter how clever you think you are in your wardrobe selection, you're just not going to fool anyone.

Which brings me to our First Lady. Rocking some serious guns and completely devoid of cankles, it's clear the woman is not fat - she just has, as Sir Mix-a-Lot would say, "an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face." Not a bad thing, considering I've yet to encounter a man who would proclaim himself a fan of skinny asses.

So ditch the empire waists, the wide belts, and the frumpy hausfrau skirts, Michelle. Get yourself a good tailor, wear a pencil skirt with pride, and for heaven's sake, we all know you're tall...just put on a pair of heels already.

Update: I did a bit of research because I was curious about the other two ladies in the above photo. They are Carla Bruni, first lady of France and Letizia Ortiz, Princess of Asturias. I also learned that the photo is a fake. Michelle Obama, in fact, did wear that outfit while meeting with Letitia in Spain but the real event looked a little bit different...

I think my original point is still valid.

11 comments:

Eric said...

The two on the left look like mannequins that need to return the 9th floor...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_After_Hours

Joanna said...

It would help if she took some lessons in deportment and carriage. Compare the way the two on the left hold themselves (particularly their arms and shoulders) with Michelle. Better yet, just find some footage of her crossing a room. She walks like a kid who hasn't figured out how to hold her motion in check. It's kind of sad.

Atomic Nerds said...

Yeah, the left two walk like they know they're sex attached to power. Michelle walks like she's dragging a tractor.

It's safe to lay odds all three are socialists, but only one presents like she's already set for the borscht line.

-Stingray

Nancy R. said...

Walking in heels uses a whole differnt techique than walking in flats, as does sitting in a skirt instead of pants.

And as the tall thing goes ... I'm easily 5" taller that Shorter Half, and I still wore 3" heels on our wedding day. That way I didn't have to get the hem on my gown altered -- and unless I stood in a hole *and* he stood on a box, it wasn't going to make a difference anyway.

Mike W. said...

Who says you can't wear capri's Breda?

I've got a friend who is shorter than you by a couple inches and she pulls them off just fine.

As for the picture......there's a 3rd woman in it?

*yes folks, there are women who are shorter and smaller than Breda, but not many.

doubletrouble said...

OK, while not "a fan of skinny asses", I'd still like it to look better than someone trying to smuggle a bushel of corn under a dress.

Lissa said...

Her personal shopper hates her. I truly believe that.

Her clothes in Spain made her look like a teenager at a mall. Her outfit on Iron Chef made her look like an overgrown twee pumpkin elf. It's just sad.

Bubblehead Les. said...

But you're missing the the point. Do you think the Stylistas will dispatch the Fashion Police to arrest Mrs. Anointed One? After all, as First Lady Commissar, SHE sets the Style! On the contrary, I'd hate to see what the new Spring Lineups are going to be. Can you say "The Michelle Look"?

Mike W. said...

It's actually kind of funny Lissa. Perhaps her personal shopper is playing a trick on her and Michelle doesn't have the fashion sense to know it.

She's a far cry from Laura Bush that's for sure, and I'm not just talking about style and outer beauty.

instinct said...

And the bow on the back of her blouse... seriously, if she wanted to look any more frumpy all she would need to add is a shawl.

Maybe I've been watching too much Project: Runway....

P said...

OK, I love skinny ass's, they rarely turn into bobble butts, you know, the kind that don't when the body stops, but keep jiggling for several minutes.....My wife is 50 and still fits into size 5-6 jeans.....she wore size 3's home from the hospital after both kids were born.

this looks almost as good as my wife's

http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/images2/mega_fox_jeans_skin_small.jpg