Sunday, January 30, 2011

there goes the neighborhood

I had a dream early this morning that Mike and I had bought a big old Victorian house somewhere near Columbus, Ohio. We'd never seen the house but it seems it had been in our possession for quite sometime. When we finally did visit, a neighbor made a point to take me on a tour of the place, one cavernous room sprawling into the next. The house needed a lot of cosmetic work, but it was sound. I envisioned rich polished hardwoods glowing warmly in afternoon light and the exterior freshly painted with white trim. As I wandered the garden admiring the wisteria, I saw that the neighborhood had gathered together an impromptu barbecue to greet us. The area was known for its hip, artistic community dedicated to restoring old houses to their former beauty, and everyone seemed genuinely excited that Mike and I would be joining them.

It was a lovely dream until my conscious brain decided to be a complete buzzkill.

"They don't know yet," it interjected. "They don't know the truth about you."

Shut up, brain. I thought to myself. Not now.

I tried to distract myself by smelling the dream-wisteria hanging from the dream-pergola. I focused on the dream-koi swimming happily in the burbling dream-pond.

But pessimist brain insisted. "Enjoy the camaraderie now, because it's not going to last."

Yeah, yeah, I thought just before I woke up. Soon as the next election rolls around we'll be known as that couple, the right-wing nutjobs with the guns.

11 comments:

ViolentIndifference said...

I'd love to live next to right-wing nut jobs with guns. The more the merrier.

Dannytheman said...

I have school teachers behind me and next to me on one side. Union government worker across the street.
They all go nuts when I throw out the "I am the NRA and I vote" street banners at and around election day!

One of the teachers said to me the other day, "All this snow is caused by that terrible global warming!"
My head almost exploded.

I am a right of Attila the Hun guy surrounded by Left Wing Balloon heads!

Mike W. said...

Right-wing nutjobs with guns sound like my kinda people, especially if they like bacon.

JB Miller said...

I go to a liberal Unitarian Church. If they truly knew of the horror that sits among them.

Some do...

Bubblehead Les. said...

Nice little ranch across the street from me for sale. Of course, you'd have to live next door to the retired NYPD cop who is now a Baptist Minister, then you'd look out the front door to your left and look at the retired machinist who was in the Army and thinks his 357 and 30-06 are just fine, and why mess around with 9mm? Then we have the 2 retired Marines flying their Flags on the side streets on your left and right flank....but you would have to drive almost a full MILE if you transfered over to the branch Library, and the 5 bars in the neighboorhood would add another .25 miles drive from your door...

Cargosquid said...

I get asked to attend discussions at my church BECAUSE the moderator feels that they get boring with only one point of view. I'm known as the anti-PC, properly applied-violence, token conservative. I have LOTS of fun at those meetings....

Macbrun said...

Ha ha ha! Sorry, I had to laugh. I live in NJ. My wife and I have been that couple for about a decade now.

Weer'd Beard said...

My neighbor and I talk over the fense about guns...and cars, and BBQ.

In Mass, yes in Mass.

Chris M said...

I hear gunfire in my neighborhood on a regular basis on weekends. The guy two houses (about 200yds) west shoots in his backyard as does the guy across the road to the south. I'm just inside the city limits so that's not possible for me unless I go over and join them. Guns are common here, you'd be welcomed and right at home.

Argie said...

Seeing as I live in Columbus, I could end up being your neighbor! Yes!, I'm that kind of neighbor in my burg. Come join in!

sobriant74 said...

My wife and I ended up moving out of a 100 yr old beautiful house near the OSU campus b/c we were surrounded by so many dippy hippies we decided we didn't want to raise our children around them. You've heard of white flight, we were more along the lines of hippie flight. The new house doesn't have the the same charm as the old one, but at least my kids have a chance of being raised with some semblance of common sense.