Tuesday, April 8, 2008

yikes.

When I was a child, and even smaller than I am now, I was afraid of those metal hooks they have in stores. Used to display items that are sealed up in plastic and paper packaging, they might seem innocuous enough to adults but a child might see them glinting wickedly, perfectly at eye level, and feel a bit wary. My overactive imagination conjured up the scenario of someone bumping into me, pushing me into a rack and the hook going straight though my eyeball, popping it like a grape.

I was reminded of my old phobia because Bruce posted a link to an article that said that a Massachusetts lawmaker is looking to ban these hooks. While I don't think that it's the job of government to make new legislation outlawing metal hooks, I also don't think that these hooks are entirely safe because, like my worst childhood nightmares come true, they really do go right in a kid's eyes. And it's a good thing I didn't know then that through the eyeball is a easy way to get to the brain - I might have never slept again.

7 comments:

phlegmfatale said...

Ya know, I have that icky phobia about eyeball stuff, but I sort of turned it around. I figured, wow, if I'm ever attacked by a man again, I may not be able to fight on his terms, but I can sure as shit pull his eyeballs out. And I will. But now that you've mentioned it, if I still feel threated- if the eyeball-less man doesn't simmer down, I may need to poke his brain, too.

It's funny the things on which one fixates, particularly in childhood. In cases like this, a vivid imagination can be a form of torture. Ew.

Cowboy Blob said...

For me, it's umbrellas. Three-hundred and sixty degrees of eyeball impaler.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Meh. I'm unimpressed until the intarweb bring me video of an impaled child thrashing about on one of those like a pinned bug on a butterfly collectors board.

ankhorite said...

So what's your preferred solution?

Breda said...

goggles would be funny.

hairy hobbit said...

would not wearing goggles be a primary offense, or like seatbelts only if they catch you do something else?

I've got the heebiejeebies with my eyes, probably from all the times dad came home with metal slivers in his eyes from the mill. Stories of mom scratching her cornea on a fence in Jr high school. Splashing rubbing alcohol in my eyes once as well as ALWAYS managing to get sand in them whenever I'm within a mile of the stuff doesn't help much either.

It's bad enough with the nanny state we have and are trying to beat back, but I can't for one second stand behind banning something because it might be dangerous or based on my own eek factor.

Wal-mart, that eeeeeevil corporation as well as many others already have a cure for the old eye gouger. It's got a flat plate the price goes on that prevents ocular impalement and spares the child the horrible fate of being irreversibly rendered a politician by unimaginable brain traumas. The free market has prevailed. We don;t need more government thank you very much.

Breda said...

I was kidding about the goggles, hobbit. I'd be more in favor of everyone keeping their whiny kids at home so that the rest of us can shop in peace. ;)