Sunday, June 28, 2009

Dear Glamour,

I will never read your magazine again, no matter how many free copies you send me. Now, I admit I like to look at the pretty photo spreads but, really? Not only are the articles poorly written and the subject matter completely inane but you have page upon self-loathing page on how to be prettier, thinner, and better smelling and pieces with titles like "8 Times It's OK to Throw a Hissy" and "Guys Tell: What I Love About Her Boobs"? Are you serious? And those gushing snippets about how Michelle Obama stays so radiantly beautiful and the heartwarming, girlpower blurb about the inspiring American story of Sonia Sotomayor? Come on, not even big city folks like yourselves believe that every woman is a liberal. And, oh Lord, the one male writer you do have on staff, this Jake fellow? A dazzling urbanite (read: simpering insecure metrosexual) who admits in print he's not even man enough to drink a shot of whiskey. Not that whiskey drinking is a requirement for manliness but, seriously...Pathetic.

Between crap like that and all the celebrity-worship, I'm starting to think that magazines like yours serve two functions...to make women buy stuff and to keep them stupid.

So, make it as glossy as you like, sell it with SEX, SEX, SEX on the cover, hell...wrap it in a big red bow but the fact remains that you had to send a FREE COPY of your idiotic magazine to my house to make me even look at it.

Sincerely,
Breda

p.s. could you please stop with the "How to make yourself look taller" fashion advice for us petite girls? There is no pair of jeans in the universe that will do that. Besides, it's really not good for one's mental health to walk through life attempting to be an optical illusion.

17 comments:

reflectoscope said...

Well said. There is nothing of value in such printed junk. As for looking taller, why? I feel bad for anyone who can't get their mind past the covers of such publications.

Jim

w/v: mifeelin. Mifeelin is that I should have a steak tonight.

Top of the Chain said...

Treading very lightly away from Breda right now. How about a subscription to Combat Handguns instead?

Old NFO said...

but...but...but Breda you are supposed to buy into their BS :-) You just proved once again you are more intelligent than 90% of the women out there.

Reputo said...

I don't drink whiskey, but I can put a bullet through a 12 inch skillet at 200 yds with iron sights, does that make up for the whiskey thing?

Earl said...

But Breda, you don't need a magazine to get your nails right and attract an audience - your readership is probably many men (thousands?) beyond Glamour's. Many thousands. Aren't you happy that you don't have to subscribe to that magazine and as soon as you are incharge of periodicals you could off it from the catalog, too.

Sabra said...

That entire family of magazines is very liberal. I don't know every title, but I know Self magazine is published by the same people (and it's a poor fitness mag on many other levels). Let's say they & I don't see eye to eye on several reproduction issues. I gave up several years ago after the nth exhortation to call my representative & demand they toe the progressive line.

Jay G said...

Besides, you don't need Glamour, Breda - you're glamorous enough for us!

HollyB said...

Another thing that chaps by broad, pale white tushie is how all print media advertisements photo shop the already too thin models. Their breasts are enhanced, their hips and faces are shaved their eye color intensified and lashes lengthened.
It sets an impossible standard for women of all shapes and standards. It also contributes to rising rates of bulimia and anorexia among preteen and teen age girls. Harumph!

Christina LMT said...

THANK YOU! When I was first married (lo, these many years ago, lost in the mists of time...), my mother-in-law thought a subscription to Glamour magazine was a wonderful Christmas gift for me, the stay-at-home mom. She renewed the subscription for many years, until I finally told her that I already had enough problems and didn't need an inferiority complex on top of everything else! She just didn't get it, since my sister-in-law apparently loved everything about the magazine and was thrilled to receive a yearly subscription. Because, you know, all women are the same. D'oh!

Mike W. said...

I don't get the whole "make yourself look taller thing?"

If you're short you're short. That's fine, there are plenty of us guys who like short women.

Glamour may say otherwise, but many guys don't find tall waifish women attractive.

Crotalus said...

And here I thought you cut them off because they wrote an anti-gun article! :oD

Besides, as JayG said, you're plenty glamorous for us, Breda! Your husband's a lucky guy.

John B said...

As far as I'm concerned Breda, You're already ten feet tall! The only reason I'd read Glamor is if they sent me a free copy. More could be accomplished if they sent me some real TP!

That may have exceeded the bounds of polite, and I apologise, To YOU not THEM!!!

Old Grouch said...

magazines like yours serve two functions...to make women buy stuff and to keep them stupid

Yep. And it's been ever thus.

Reputo said...

What?! Breda is married! And for a moment there I thought I might have a chance. Oh wait, I'm married too. Well, never mind.

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lv4921391 said...

there was a time i used to look at "Glamour", for the "soft" porn...but when they hopped into the tank for BHO and his wife I gave it up...

Holly said...

Oh man, I gave up women's magazines while in college. And you know, the photoshopping is so prevalent it isn't even good these days? The famous actresses don't even look like themselves.