Sunday, January 10, 2010

can we talk?

Ladies, listen to me.

If you are not expecting someone and you don't recognize the person on your doorstep, let them knock, let them ring the bell a hundred times...hell, let them stand out there and freeze. If they say they are offering phone/gas/electric/cable services, call the company to verify before you open the door. Likewise, if they are dressed as a law enforcement officer, call the police station to be sure. Keep a stout, locked door between you and your unexpected visitor. Now, I know your first instinct is to be as helpful as possible and that you don't want to seem rude. And trust me when I say that I know how tempting an offer of snow removal can be when you are knee deep in the white stuff - but if you are home alone, do not open your door to strangers. Ever.

But if there comes a day where you absolutely positively must open that door, have your gun in your hand. Discreetly, of course - because heaven forbid you become known as the quirky, asocial, gun toting, cat lady in the neighborhood.

(Oh, wait.)

16 comments:

Fred said...

How does somebody distract you enough that his buddy can run through your house looting the place?

Tam said...

This is one reason I like the stout, dead-bolted, outward-opening, burglar-barred screen door at Roseholme.

Between the steel doors and the security lighting, can you tell that the former owner was a cop?

reflectoscope said...

She is lucky that all she got was robbed.

Jim

PPPP said...

Jim - That was my thought as well.

Tam - no firing slits in the main door?

Fred - Especially after they enter the home (unannounced and uninvited) and then offer to shovel the snow.

Breda - That's the best way to answer the door. Stick to your guns, never mind what the neighbors think. You have more than two cats. They already think you're crazy.

Weer'd Beard said...

'But if there comes a day where you absolutely positively must open that door, have your gun in your hand. Discreetly, of course"

This is why my HD gun is a 1911. Yes I know I could shoot better and get better results with a shotgun or a carbine. But there have been several times when I have heard a strange knocking at my door, and it's nice to have a single universal tool in your toolbox, and it beats the shit out of attempting to explain the shotgun or railed-out carbine to the avon lady, or the neighbor's kid.

Especially in a gun-unfriendly state.

Holly said...

I'm surprised how many people I know don't lock the doors when they're at home. And they think I'm some sort of paranoid for pointing out that anyone who's allowed in the house uninvited has a key. Everyone else doesn't have a key for a reason.

You also spare yourself a lot of religious/sales harassment when you simply don't open the door for non-uniformed unexpected strangers.

Did it MY way said...

Better safe than sorry? Enough said.

See Ya

Joanna said...

I always heard that the best way to get rid of Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses was to answer the door naked and heavily armed. Nice to know there's some overlap with the rest of the universe.

Crucis said...

We had two guys come by last week offering to clear our driveway and sidewalk. My wife answered the door and I came next standing behind and to the side.

We got a very good price and we were pleased with the result. Unfortunately we got four more inches of snow that night and the two haven't been back.

I wonder if they noticed my .45 I was holding behind my back?

Mike W. said...

always heard that the best way to get rid of Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses was to answer the door naked and heavily armed.

I dunno, somehow I think that might attract people to your door. :)

Joanna said...

Mike W.: Yeah, but they'd be my kind of people.

Cargosquid said...

Heck, not only the ladies, men too, should follow these instructions. Just because you're a hulking mass of muscle doesn't mean that said visitor can't do damage.....

Phelps said...

it beats the shit out of attempting to explain the shotgun or railed-out carbine to the avon lady, or the neighbor's kid.

I'm a 15 stone man, and I still answer the door with a Mossberg Persuader (and a folding stock). And I don't explain anything. No one has asked yet, and I'm not volunteering.

alex. said...

A few years back a nice lady who lived not far from me got raped and stabbed to death with her own kitchen knife because she opened the front door of her home to someone she did not know. Since she was unarmed and about 110 lbs., and he was 250pounds of convicted felon, it was not much of a contest. This was at about 10:00AM on a Friday in the middle of a nice, small town.

Chris M said...

"I always heard that the best way to get rid of Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses was to answer the door naked and heavily armed. Nice to know there's some overlap with the rest of the universe."

The last JW who came to my house didn't see me answer the door naked but he did notice the Hi-Power on my hip. He commented that it's a shame that the world is so troubled that such things are necessary. He also said that he has been known to also answer the door armed.

Andy said...

In the UK a door is all you're allowed I'm afraid...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/celebritynews/6957682/Myleene-Klass-warned-by-police-after-scaring-off-intruders-with-knife.html