Tuesday, February 9, 2010

We're #1!

According to Forbes, C-Town has yet another claim to fame...

It's astonishing how colorless and shapeless a wintery world becomes - trees are charcoal gray silhouettes against a lighter gray sky, roads are slate stripes cutting through white drifts, people become shadows trudging around in dark parkas and the edges of things blur as the snow sifts down. A bright yellow school bus rumbling past my window becomes a visual feast.

It's not so bad, really - around here, snow is a sign that things are still normal. When I was a child, I had a toy shovel, snow forts were an obsession, a red saucer was my favorite mode of travel and I even had device for wobbly, homemade igloos. Snow is just what we do. I'll admit I'm glad I have the internet to remind me that blue skies still exist and that not everyone lives a portion of the year scraping ice and trying to figure out a way to make wool less itchy. For instance, Alan (the mastermind behind Vicious Circle) lived for a long time without ever having seen a snow brush. Unfathomable.

We're snow snobs in Cleveland. We scoff at Southerners when they're in the midst of one of their French toast and toilet paper panics, "You think two inches is bad? You've never seen real snow! Around here, people are still wearing shorts in what you call winter." We boast about our winter driving skills, we don't bother to wear gloves if it's only 20 degrees.

Perhaps it's the bravado that gets us through till spring.

17 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

30 inches. Plus another 12-20 tonite. I'm glad that sounds normal to you...

Popgun said...

What's a snow brush?

-Popgun

tjbbpgobIII said...

I am a Southerner by birth and life. I lived in Chicago for about 10 years one month a long time ago. I left because it was too cold. It was August or September as I remember.

docjim505 said...

I'll strike a bargain with you:

You can brag all you like about winter driving skills. You can make fun of us to your heart's content about our mania for bread, milk, and toilet paper when snow is even in the forecast. You can call us sissies for wearing gloves when the temperature dips below 35 degF. In return, PLEASE KEEP ALL THE FILTHY WHITE STUFF!!!

--- A Southerner

faitmaker said...

I'll be damn. As long as I've read your blog, I never knew you were in Cleveland. Dayton boy here.

Lawyer said...

Breda, very funny!

Docjim505, I agree! Coming from Taxachusetts, I remember the deep snow. Being in the southeast now, the white stuff is fun to look at for about 30 minutes. After that, I just want to ship it back.

Heath said...

I found 6 more inches in my yard this afternoon, waiting for me after work..

We Northerners might be used to that much damned snow, but I don't have to like it!

Lydia said...

After enduring an Alaskan winter (this one is mild according to many) I still think Cleveland has the harshest winters. Cold is one things. Wet, bitter, nasty, frigid cold, only Cleveland can deliver that misery.

The Farmer said...

Last week I was in Seattle for work. When my Houston based coworker got in the rental car he sat on the snowbrush/ice scraper and exclaimed "what the hell is this?" I LOL'd, especially since they've had snow this year. Shorts and t-shirts are de rigueur for my ilk, snow or not, if the temp is above 20 degrees here in Northern New England.

mIsho said...

Easy for you to say, you're just a hop, skip. and a jump from the brewery! Snow? What snow.

Wiz said...

I think I was 10 before I saw a winter when there WASN'T four feet on the ground and drifts up to ten.

'Course, that was in the fifties, before global warming and all that.

M

Old NFO said...

Breda, THAT is why I live in the South :-) You can keep that stuff...

The Old Man said...

You should live on the West Side - we pretty much skate as opposed to the snow belt all winter. Of course, there is that whole drivin' into the sun twice a day thing to consider...

Tennessee Budd said...

Scoff all you like; it isn't snow that gives us problems. It's the ice. Temps here being what they are, any snow melts & turns to ice. Still, y'all can keep all that white crap.
I don't understand the milk-eggs-and bread thing, either. I have powdered milk, I can bake bread, & the landlord has over a hundred chickens.

Robert said...

I love when northern flatlanders brag about how good they drive in the snow encounter southern mountain roads when they have snow on them. The first time they look at a 5 mile stretch of 8% grade, spotty guardrails and a 500 ft drop off into a freezing river, they get humble real quick.

Willorith said...

I know just what you mean. Winter just drags on and on with bright blue skies from horizon to horizon. Highs in the seventies, bright warm sunshine on your face, just miserable! Oh my God! When will it end??

We are Appleseeding (in T shirts of course) this weekend on a 600 yard range. We will probably set the full distance line at 200 yards for some fun with the centerfires.

If the stoic routine wears a little thin, and you want to be reminded that Earth does in fact orbit a star of its own, come Appleseeding in FL. One event this weekend, one next weekend, then a weekend off then an instructor's full distance shoot on the 600 yard range at Starke FL on 6&7 March. After that is 27/28 March at Myakka. Remember women shoot free.

Tam said...

Robert,

I hear ya.

It doesn't matter how 1337 one's winter driving skills are, you ain't gettin' up Black Oak Ridge with an inch of glare ice on the hill and the only salt truck on the other side of the county. ;)