Saturday, May 1, 2010

word to the wise

My dear fellow homeowners,

I know how wonderful it is to decorate your house and make it your own. After a project is done, you are able to step back, wipe the sweat from your brow and say, "Yes! This is mine!" and feel quite pleased with yourself. Be they formal, country, modern, or eclectic - whatever style you like - the floor coverings, the furniture and the paint are all of your own choosing. Being able to live in a beauty that you've created is a joy.

But please, don't wallpaper unless you're happy knowing that the future inhabitants of your house will spend hours scraping and steaming and cursing the day you were born.

Thank you.

Love, Breda

p.s. you might also want to find out where the main sewer line is and then specifically NOT plant a tree on top of it.

16 comments:

The Packetman said...

heh

smith kaich jones said...

oh man. my heart goes out to you. wallpaper sucks. so sorry!

:) Debi

TheOtherLarry said...

The only thing worse than wallpaper is painted-over wallpaper. Usually requires all new sheetrock. Yuck!!!

Jay G said...

Oh dear lord tell me it wasn't a willow...

If it is, break orbit and nuke from space...

Old NFO said...

Oh man... a twofer... That ain't good! I swear wallpaper (either putting it up, or trying to take it down) has caused MANY a divorce!

Atomic Nerds said...

Additionally, when decorating, please keep in mind what will and will not be visible. For instance, there is NO GOOD DAMN REASON TO PAINT THE FREAKING WIRES UNDER A LIGHT FIXTURE, JACKASSES.
*cough*
Just more helpful homeowner hints.

-Stingray

Did it MY way said...

Duh...did you not see it when the house was purchased?

rickn8or said...

Atomic Nerds-- A little Hot/Neutral swappage issue there?

og said...

I calls 'em SPOTs, "Stupid Previous Owner Tricks". I could tell you a few, too- like 'Don't backfill the foundation with motorcycles" and "Try not to make electrical connections outside of electrical boxes without connectors of any kind" and "before installing siding make sure the wall is THERE" etc.


Wallpaper? Worst part is someone putting it up on a non-painted wall. On a wall that's been properly seamed, it's just a matter of getting a scratcher and a steamer. Without which it's a nightmare, with which it's not so bad.

JC said...

If the paper is even and not bubbled and peeling, use one of those roller covers that looks like the hook side of the velcro to roll mud to texture the wall, knock it down a bit before the mud drys, then paint. If the paper was up properly, the surface will serve for (looks over shoulder at wall, consults memory) at least 25 years.
WV: Vorke - Yes it will, given the caveats

Cond0010 said...

Now now, Breda...

If the wallpaper is over 100 years old, it will peel off the wall all by itself! Yep... all the different layers of wallpaper come right off. Poof!

Problem is that not all of the wallpaper does that all at once, so you gotta scrape alot of it anyway...

...and planting trees over your sewer line? Hah! Without that happening, you won't be able to give the next homeowners the _experience_ of having their own 'Watcher in the Water' in their own basement just like that creepy tenacly thingie in the Lord of the Rings' West Gate of Moria.

What's homeownership without adventures such as those, hmmm?

Dorsai said...

Too late, probably, but for future reference, Dif is your best friend in these situations.

http://www.zinsser.com/product_detail.asp?ProductId=18

cybrus said...

"Don't backfill the foundation with motorcycles" - that's a new one for me!

Thanks Og for the morning laugh - I needed it!

WV: somad - What you become when you realize the previous owners painted AROUND all the appliances.

phlegmfatale said...

To this I would add do not under any circumstances plant nandina or ret-tipped photinia, lest your grandchildren be cursed.

Robert said...

There's a great website that shows things that a home inspector has found over the years. My favorite was the electrical junction box with no cover and about 25 different wires all spliced together.

Weetabix said...

I had wall paper in a room of my 1922 house that revealed original construction details drawn in pencil once we got it off. Very cool.

w/v: beekini - sounds more painful than a Brazilian wax