I'm so glad I have my L-shaped desk area configured so that the long end of the L is on my left right now.
What to choose? Wired Xbox 360 controller? Wireless keyboard? Monitor? Magic 8-Ball? Wait, I've got a cast aluminum piston from an old airplane engine, but I think I'm going to go with my ancient Mastering COBOL textbook, as it's both bigger and heavier than the piston. Plus I'm pretty sure reading from it could even kill brain-dead zombies from sheer boredom.
So only lefties get to use their firearms in the apocalypse? ;)
In may case, either side would suck, since I work at a military base. At least after Fort Hood, everyone is familiar with the irony of nearly everyone at a military base being unarmed.
An old Steelcase four drawer filing cabinet! Sweet! It's a yucky, institutional green and just reeks of weapons of opportunity. It's got a drawer full of photos and office supplies which are not so great, thumb tacks and the Swingline (Alas, not red) aside, BUT! it also has a drawer full of bayonets, assorted fixed blade knives including an early 80s Gerber MKII and a drawer with....YES! a S&W Model 60 3" stainless .357 and lots of .38 special jacketed ball. I'll take what I can get!
We've all learned a valuable lesson here and from this point on we will all - ALL - keep an assortment of arms and considerable ammo to our left at all times.
And when asked to explain why, we will get to say "I keep a small country's worth of weaponry to my left because of... uh... see there are these zombies... uh..."
An old yard sale lamp with a heavy Marble base. But just to the Left of that lamp is my SHTF Shelving, which is just chock full of good stuff like a 4 D cell Maglite with the LED upgrade, a 9 inch Bowie, a pack of flares...
Ha! Finger's pointing to the reloading room, complete with two (yes, 2) gun safes, each full to the gunwales with shooty goodness. Must be something over 10,000 rounds of centerfire ammo in there, too.
I think I'll survive at least the first wave . . .
Hmmm, a stack of books, a screw driver...opens drawer...that's a little better, my grandfathers old beat up tackle box knife and one of my hunting knives. Nothing with any reach, but sharp things help a little bit anyway.
S&W 442 on my left ankle. Ruger P97 and Ruger Security Six in drawer to my right, with extra mag for P97. I should be able to clear enough space to get to the real stuff.
P-11 9mm loaded with 12 rounds 147gr JHP with a spare 14 round magazine full of same, a SOG Twitch Knife, A Leatherman Blast Multi-tool with a 2½" Blade, Maglight pocket flashlight, Fully charged cell phone, the heavy EDC leather bag it is all in. I also have my optic mouse which is on a strong cable that would be useful.
My Droid, my nice watch, tweezers, eyedrops for contacts, some bobby pins, a lamp, a pen, my work nametage, and 4 books. (Nanny Diaries, The Inferno, En Route, and my husband's copy of the 51st Army Officer's Guide.) Oh, and a lone ruby earing stud...
A printer, a box of paper, a glass of Makers Mark [with ice], yesterdays notes for a report thats late, a Smif 686, and an open patio door. I prolly should close the door.
The object to my left is an overweight Russian Blue cat, on a 5.5' tall cat tower that I built. If I use the cat, I'm doomed. If I use the cat tower, I'll be OK until I get a hernia from swinging it. Then I am doomed.
< sigh >
Of course, if I used the object(s) on my right... ;)
Stapler. E6-B calculator. Mail. Canon digital camera. TV remote. Telephone handset. Pilot's logbook. Cat claw trimmers. Box of Kleenex. And a 14lb cat.
Throw the stapler, reach to the right for the 1911...
For once I am in luck. To my left (and actually in the direct line of the pointing finger) are two cased rifles (in same case). One is my Marlin 336 and the other a Marlin 25MN. In addition there are:
Lots of ammo for those two guns
A 3" roll self-grip bandage (could be handy)
2 Pens (get pokers)
Pair of eyueglasses
Small spray container of ZScent Shield - human scent eliminator (can zombies smell - then I am really in luck)
My cell phone
Plastic Canteen
Camel-back backpack containing my usual carry at almsot all times gear (such as first aid kit, knife, knife sharpener, flashlight, extra batteries, fire starter, matches, compass, paper towels (heavy duty tush wipes)
Glass of apple juice
Bookcase with survival book and many other books
Wow - I could survive nicely with that stuff until I could find more. GThe flying fickled finger of fagte has finely pointed in the right direction for me; let's just hope that does not mean tonight will really be the night of the zombies!
82 comments:
Put some coffee in it. It worked for Caleb.
Ginger ale. i am doomed.
Stapler. To fight my way to the rifle I should never have put down.
Or is it the desk the stapler is sitting on? It's also to my left. Nah - it's too heavy.
Wait! Can I use the gun on my hip when my "weapon of choice" fails?
Hah! Empty tea mug. Some three-ring binders from school. MY TRASHCAN! w00t! I'll bean 'em with my trashcan.
Two pens and a computer mouse on my desk to the left. That's the best I can do.
Ruger Security Six...
And a Mosin Nagant...
And 2 Kyber knives...
My other computer monitor? Guess it might take a couple of hits.
No problem, for me its an Easy button. Oh, wait Staples doesn't carry firearms... Doh!
It seems that I am to glass the zombies with a bottle of Theakston's Old Peculiar.
Bubble wrap. F'ing bubble wrap.
Paper and a pen. No, not a tactical pen. I'm doomed.
Regional Rail schedule. Guess that means I'm a runnin'...
-Raptor
A pair of aluminum crutches and a basket of cat toys. Best. Apocalypse. Ever.
My iPad? I wonder if this will void the AppleCare warranty...
Sweet, I've got a blowtorch. I love having a cluttered desk.
-Stingray
I'm at school, and the only thing to my left is another office chair. I guess I'm gonna be scootin'.
Tactical ice water & frozen grapes (takin' a break from mowing the lawn) while I reach for the gun within hands reach on my right as I'm right handed.
"Calculus" By Howard Anton, 5th edition. Take that you brain eating suckas!!
Mr Potato Head. FML.
Thumbtacks and a serrated spyderco. Gonna be some CQB with those 2...
To my left is a 20mm Lahti propped up in my closet next to my wife's gunsafe.
Poor zombies...
Uh...let's see...ashtray, plastic.
Hand sanitizer.
Small computer speaker.
Crap.
At least I'm wearing running shoes today.
-Sarah
"Bubble wrap. F'ing bubble wrap."
Dude. You're totally boned.
I've got an old Acco 2-hole punch next to my monitor. It could crack a skull if I hit the zombie just right.
I'd probably use the Kel-Tec that's on my belt first, though.
For once a pop quiz I pass... to my left is a Springfield XD .45 with 3 full magazines. Oh, I guess since it is zombies, 3 full clips.
Cisco 2924 switch. I could bludgeon a few zombies with that.
I'm so glad I have my L-shaped desk area configured so that the long end of the L is on my left right now.
What to choose? Wired Xbox 360 controller? Wireless keyboard? Monitor? Magic 8-Ball? Wait, I've got a cast aluminum piston from an old airplane engine, but I think I'm going to go with my ancient Mastering COBOL textbook, as it's both bigger and heavier than the piston. Plus I'm pretty sure reading from it could even kill brain-dead zombies from sheer boredom.
The computer case is on the desk to my left. I'm going to be way too close to these zombies.
So only lefties get to use their firearms in the apocalypse? ;)
In may case, either side would suck, since I work at a military base. At least after Fort Hood, everyone is familiar with the irony of nearly everyone at a military base being unarmed.
Dual-wield forks. And a stapler. and a feral hog tusk.
SR9 and 1 extra mag...
The left of my monitor? It's where I prop the M1A when I type. I AM left handed. And no zombie is gonna git ME!
A concrete cast of a human skull, weighs about 18 pounds.
Hope it's a lone Zombie...
At last, a lucky break. I just put my tacticool briefcase on the desk, containing my 1911, two spare loaded mags, and a folding knife.
Usually, all that's there is an old Rolodex.
"A concrete cast of a human skull, weighs about 18 pounds."
So, you're going to bash in a zombie's skull with a skull.
Shiny.
I'm not using a Gibson Les Paul to hurt Zombies, regardless of how good the hardshell case is.
Can I just use the .40 on my right hip?
Ha! I didn't see this until I got home. To the left is a big ol' basket of bug spray, bug killer, and other aerosols.
And several BBQ lighters.
Fry, zombie, fry...
Lucky me. To my left, an XD-45.
And just in case, to my right, at least ten knives.
Hank
An old Steelcase four drawer filing cabinet! Sweet! It's a yucky, institutional green and just reeks of weapons of opportunity. It's got a drawer full of photos and office supplies which are not so great, thumb tacks and the Swingline (Alas, not red) aside, BUT! it also has a drawer full of bayonets, assorted fixed blade knives including an early 80s Gerber MKII and a drawer with....YES! a S&W Model 60 3" stainless .357 and lots of .38 special jacketed ball. I'll take what I can get!
1/4 of a bottle of IPA.
Drink the rest fast, break the bottle, & it's a zombie bar fight!
We've all learned a valuable lesson here and from this point on we will all - ALL - keep an assortment of arms and considerable ammo to our left at all times.
And when asked to explain why, we will get to say "I keep a small country's worth of weaponry to my left because of... uh... see there are these zombies... uh..."
I've got an X-Acto knife, and a pair of shredder scissors. And a large vacuum cleaner. I guess the .45 just to my right is out of bounds then...
Skil 1/4 hp drill press and a mason jar full of Czech 7.62x54R.
This will be....interesting.
Insulin pen and a bottle of multivitamins. Great. Energetic, low suger zombies.
hmmm... oddly, there is a rack with six katanas.
Ha ha ha! An orange tabby. Meow.
You're lucky to have a coffee cup. All I have is a bookmarks tab.
An old yard sale lamp with a heavy Marble base. But just to the Left of that lamp is my SHTF Shelving, which is just chock full of good stuff like a 4 D cell Maglite with the LED upgrade, a 9 inch Bowie, a pack of flares...
Ha! Finger's pointing to the reloading room, complete with two (yes, 2) gun safes, each full to the gunwales with shooty goodness. Must be something over 10,000 rounds of centerfire ammo in there, too.
I think I'll survive at least the first wave . . .
:-)
Boy, did I get lucky!
Holster came in today from Sportsman's Guide and I had it's projected occupant out checking fit in it.
That would be a Ruger 5 1/2" .44 Mag. Super Blackhawk!
Could have done a little better, but could have done MUCH worse, too!
"Go Ahead, Make My Day!", "Do You Feel Lucky, Punk? Well, Do You?", just what is the proper quip for taking out a Zombie with a .44 Mag?
Buckshot
MAHAHAHAHA!!!
Actually i just finished my pack for the next 7 day hike.
Food, Rifle, Handgun, 3 knives, Shovel, Cooking gear, Minor climbing gear, ect ect ect.......
A camelbak? Aww crap.
@Mr Casey: A file cabinet? My god man, think of the possibilities!
Jim
Crap. Also a coffee cup. A *styrofoam* cup, no less.
I am doomed.
Hah, it's my Duty Bag. I'm sure I could find something in there to fight my way to the rifle.
when I read this, the arrow pointed to my gun safe! (Hands Breda a 12 gauge) or would you prefer a poodle shooter?
I'm hosed. McDonald's styrofoam cup of diet coke. Whoever finds me shambling around, shoot me in the back of the head so I can have an open casket.
Brown dog. Experienced vermin killer with a taste for raw brains (lungs, kidneys, liver, bone...).
Two rolls of Scotch tape, pencil, and a pair of scissors. I can take two out, and tape several more into submission before I have to run.
Sig P228 on my right with three mags. Ruger GP 100 to my left rear quadrant. Immediate left is my Blackberry to text for help. Or my shredder...
Aw crap. I am so screwed. The object to my left is a Kettlebell. 16 kg.
Hmmm, a stack of books, a screw driver...opens drawer...that's a little better, my grandfathers old beat up tackle box knife and one of my hunting knives. Nothing with any reach, but sharp things help a little bit anyway.
S&W 442 on my left ankle. Ruger P97 and Ruger Security Six in drawer to my right, with extra mag for P97. I should be able to clear enough space to get to the real stuff.
Is a Jack Russell an object? Cause if it is this hyper little beast will win every time! He is the family Terrorist!!
I'm putting my faith in Macbrun's tabby.
Heh - it's pointing at my XD 9mm. Clutch.
Well, at least I'll be a comfortable zombie. My chest of drawers is to my left..wait. Forgot.
I've go my Bersa and 2 Ruger .22s in there. And a civil war saber leaning against them. Yay.
I'm still doomed. One magazine of .380...
P-11 9mm loaded with 12 rounds 147gr JHP with a spare 14 round magazine full of same, a SOG Twitch Knife, A Leatherman Blast Multi-tool with a 2½" Blade, Maglight pocket flashlight, Fully charged cell phone, the heavy EDC leather bag it is all in. I also have my optic mouse which is on a strong cable that would be useful.
My Droid, my nice watch, tweezers, eyedrops for contacts, some bobby pins, a lamp, a pen, my work nametage, and 4 books. (Nanny Diaries, The Inferno, En Route, and my husband's copy of the 51st Army Officer's Guide.) Oh, and a lone ruby earing stud...
At the time or reading a 2 1/2 yr old girl. boyond that a vacuum and a toy check of baby toys.
Maybe I can put them into a transe with weebles
A printer, a box of paper, a glass of Makers Mark [with ice], yesterdays notes for a report thats late, a Smif 686, and an open patio door. I prolly should close the door.
The object to my left is an overweight Russian Blue cat, on a 5.5' tall cat tower that I built. If I use the cat, I'm doomed. If I use the cat tower, I'll be OK until I get a hernia from swinging it. Then I am doomed.
< sigh >
Of course, if I used the object(s) on my right... ;)
The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett.
The Invention of Scotland by Hugh Trevor-Roper.
Nomad by Ayaan Hirsi Ali.
Great books, all ... but kinda useless when dealing with zombies. Does it help that I'm on the 21st floor ... and zombies do poorly at altitude?
Regards
Two pillows... will have to do?
Stapler. E6-B calculator. Mail. Canon digital camera. TV remote. Telephone handset. Pilot's logbook. Cat claw trimmers. Box of Kleenex. And a 14lb cat.
Throw the stapler, reach to the right for the 1911...
For once I am in luck. To my left (and actually in the direct line of the pointing finger) are two cased rifles (in same case). One is my Marlin 336 and the other a Marlin 25MN. In addition there are:
Lots of ammo for those two guns
A 3" roll self-grip bandage (could be handy)
2 Pens (get pokers)
Pair of eyueglasses
Small spray container of ZScent Shield - human scent eliminator (can zombies smell - then I am really in luck)
My cell phone
Plastic Canteen
Camel-back backpack containing my usual carry at almsot all times gear (such as first aid kit, knife, knife sharpener, flashlight, extra batteries, fire starter, matches, compass, paper towels (heavy duty tush wipes)
Glass of apple juice
Bookcase with survival book and many other books
Wow - I could survive nicely with that stuff until I could find more. GThe flying fickled finger of fagte has finely pointed in the right direction for me; let's just hope that does not mean tonight will really be the night of the zombies!
All the best,
Glenn B
Sorry I forgot to check the spelling. I guess I was just so excited because something seemed to work out right even if pointing left.
LOL,
Glenn B
All I see on the left are a bunch of whiners, welfare checks, and copies of Obama's book that are not selling.
I'm sure I'll be taxed to get health care for the undead.
CGizmo wins!
I have some Aspercreme, that really stings the eyes...
No ?
Uh... Toothpicks ! They can... uh... Under the fingernails they will...
Huh.
Ah ! I have Raid Flea Killer !
That and the lighter on my left will make a handy flamethrower !
Glenn B Zombies can smell after a few weeks.
Then they all smell bad.
my Kershaw is sitting just to my left...at least i've got something!
Looks like it's my second monitor. Smashy smashy!
Finally getting caught up with my reading since the move is now over.
Object to the left - either a synthesizer or a heavy chair, guess I can torture them with a rendition of 'Stairway to Heaven'.
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