Monday, November 8, 2010

back under the bridge

It has recently come to my attention that certain trolls have been writing about me. I won't mention them by name, nor will I link to them...but you probably already know who they are because if you read gunblogs longer than say, five minutes, you've probably run into them. If you're a blogger, they will try to bait you and if you're a commenter they will try to pick a fight with you. It's just what they do.

Gunbloggers are a very passionate bunch, and trolls have noticed this. We hold certain beliefs and will defend them to the last, even on the internet. I've seen 2nd Amendment debates go on (and on, and on) in the comment sections of blogs - sometimes hundreds of comments long. Often it gets heated- strawman arguments, namecalling, insults, penis jokes, the inevitable Godwin's law - and the majority of the time the ugliness is started by trolls. They know which buttons to push to get a gunblogger riled up and by the time you realize that you're not going to change their minds regarding gun rights, throwing up your hands in frustration and walking away from the keyboard, they've already gotten what they came for and you're the sucker.

See, these trolls claim to be anti-gun liberals (and maybe they are) but it's not their main motivation. They want attention. I'm sure they'd be trolling other blogs too, but they want a fight and they know they can get it from gunbloggers. They want a chance to call people names and be nasty to complete strangers. They look for a chance to harass you, even in meatspace. Perhaps in real life they are disgruntled, cowardly, impotent men and this is their only outlet for the demented filth they carry in their heads, I don't know...and I don't really care.

However, there is one thing that I am sure of - they will not find any satisfaction here.

So I'd like to suggest that everyone adopt The Breda Fallacy policy concerning trolls, starting today. Here it is (once a troll is identified as such):

Rule #1: Ignore them completely.

Rule #2: If a troll writes a blog post about you, refer to Rule #1.

Rule #3: If a troll comments on your blog, delete the comment as soon as possible* and refer again to Rule #1.

Rule #4: there is no Rule #4

(While following these rules, you may want to laugh at the trolls' pathetic attempts to get your attention, but that's up to you. It certainly makes it more fun.)

Simple, no? If we do not give them a place to play, they will eventually take their ball and go bother someone else. I hear those hipster indie music bloggers can sure get testy when you question their Bukowski.

_______________________
*Yes, I am suggesting you send their comments down the memory hole. I do not owe anyone space on my blog, especially when they're deliberately trying to start arguments. I am happy to accept constructive criticism but being baited by a known asshole? Nope. Delete. Buh-bye. Remember, it's not about guns for them - it's only about starting a fight, that's what they get off on.

Also? Remember...this blog belongs to me. Every word, every byte, every pixel. Comments belong to me as soon as they're published.

37 comments:

Jay G said...

Excellent, excellent advice Breda.

Trolls thrive on attention. Good, bad, indifferent, they don't care. They want to be noticed; they want to know that they've gotten under your skin; they want to feel like their pathetic little lives are important.

Deny them that attention at all costs.

JB Miller said...

Great advice. Consider it implemented!

Stephen said...

Good advice. I implemented it myself just recently, and was thinking about blogging on it as well.

I'd go one step further (which I'm about to) that we make it a point not to visit his site, comment on his site, or link to it. And go through and remove all existing links. Although his readership isn't high, this will drop him down in google ranks and get even less people there.

He and his sidekick have based their entire blog on being trolls and personal attacks, and we shouldn't support that.

Breda said...

Excellent idea, Stephen.

Michael said...

In the past, I've given trolls a little space on my personal blog from time to time, but not on the one where I attempt to generate income. I agree though, troublemakers are best ignored.

Jeanne S said...

At the risk of sounding totally dorky, you go girl!

Weer'd Beard said...

Its pretty obvious their "Cause" is irrelevant to them, as as soon as their comments are blocked/removed, they don't even struggle, they simply go away.

Ignore them, and dry up their readership.

Sean D Sorrentino said...

I had a little fun with a certain Troll-loon recently. My policy on his partner is posted directly in my comments policy. The Troll-loon got his own video.
http://ncguns.blogspot.com/2010/10/little-gunblog-inside-baseball.html

Loki1776 said...

It took me one guess to figure out who it was. He's so predictable. And pathetic.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Sorry this fool made it personal. Guess once a Bully, always a Bully.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I like to drag them down to my level and exasperate them with my greater troll experience

Mike W. said...

Up to a point I like to have some fun with them, but with certain folks I've basically instituted your policy.

I've certainly instituted it with the troll in question. He's an attention whore who's just hoping and pleading that you talk about him or pay attention to him at all.

Interestingly enough, I see no perceptible increase in traffic when he or a couple of the other anti-gun trolls links to me.

Ed Skinner said...

Basically, "Don't Tread on Me."
Good motto!

RuffRidr said...

Nameless troll has been banned from many different gun blogs, but he really seems to concentrate his blog posts on you for some reason. I think he has a crush on you.

reflectoscope said...

Can't we call them all Bruce, to save the confusion?

(Oh I do hope that was what you were referring to, it'll sound pretty strange otherwise!)

Jim

Linoge said...

As the saying goes, haters gotta hate, and when so very much of their lives are wrapped up in hatred against inanimate lumps of metal, civil rights, and countless other things, some of that is invariably going to spill over into their interpersonal relations, too.

This is a spectacularly despicable new low for the troll in question, though... and yours is definitely one of the better ways to handle it.

Heath said...

A good rule of thumb.

Unless you get a REALLY good one, like Larry does over at Monster Hunter Nation..

Then you have an obligation to fisk the ever living hell out of said troll for our entertainment :)

Breda, now's the time to say something disparaging about H Und K or the AR15. Those subjects always seem to attract some weapons grade stupid...

DirtCrashr said...

Sheesh, I don't even get trolls - price of fame I guess, and a good method of handling them.

instinct said...

Reflectoscope - Let's not call them Bruce, that's the name of my favoritest shotgun and I would hate to insult it that way.

Johnnyreb™ said...

Do Not Feed The Trolls!

FatWhiteMan said...

I read it. It was pretty lame.

Old NFO said...

Good points Breda!

Loki1776 said...

instinct - Reflectoscope's comment referred to Breda's Rule 4, which in turn referred to this. Does that help?

reflectoscope said...

Oh damn, it was rule six that I was thinking of. <wrong pop-culture reference>

Jim

Loki1776 said...

reflectoscope - at least you got the link to work. I'm not sure what blogger did to mine.

reflectoscope said...

Loki - I'm not quite sure. I wrote the html by hand for mine. Funny how that already sounds like a quaint skill.

Jim

Glenn B said...

May one ask, and expect an answer, as to who is the troll in question so that he or she can be avoided in the future?

Thanks

All the best,
Glenn B

Sebastian-PGP said...

If it's the troll I'm thinking of, he started posting a lot of personal stuff about me thinking it would get under my skin (it didn't). But then he took it a little too far...and I posted a google earth picture of his house, and he went away.

Nothing funnier than a troll realizing that the Intartubes aren't as anonymous as they thought they were.

Mike W. said...

Sebastian - What you did to that troll was one of the greatest internet beatdowns I've ever seen.

Sean D Sorrentino said...

"What you did to that troll was one of the greatest internet beatdowns I've ever seen."

Links, or it didn't happen. ;)

PPPP said...

Glenn -

If it's who I think it is, see Sean's first post above and follow the link.

elmo iscariot said...

Thank you, Breda. I had just started forgetting the lesson and posting comments at the home of the troll-in-question. Your Rule #2 was exactly what I needed, exactly when I needed it.

Sake said...

Breda and gang -- the following web site is a *wonderful* exposition on trolls, flamers, and other internet dweebery:

http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/

Enjoy! ;)

Wilson said...

You have a very sound policy. Trolls only live for the attention, ignore them and they quickly dry up and blow away.

Random said...

Rule#4: All troll comments shall be edited to proclaim the Trolls undying love for Thundercat footy pajamas, Japanese tentacle porn, Furries, and Janet Reno sex tape fanfic.

Zorro said...

Those are good rules, and I hope to eventually attain the discipline to obey them no matter what--sometimes the temptation to call them out on their intellectual and moral bankruptcy becomes too much for me to resist.

I'm working on it, though.

Hobie said...

I'd argue with you but I just had this happen on the forum I moderate. The guy wanted to argue about everything and of course he was more of everything, i.e. more experienced, wiser, smarter, more articulate, etc... He went down the "memory hole" and not a word from him...