What the patrons don't know is that we librarians have our own secret little tree in the back room. It's called the Hottie Tree. We're all supposed to print out a color picture of the hunky celebrity we like best and hang it on the tree. There have been a wide variety of hotties, from Clark Gable to Johnny Depp to Liberace (I really hope that was a joke).
Here's my addition:
(what would a free man do?)
Now the Hottie Tree is smokin'.