of breastaurants bullets & boobs

An explanation of T&A advertising for men:

"These concepts are growing by offering a different level of service and attentiveness. They provide a service to men who may not have a person at home to take care of them in the same way. That's important to a number of people, and it drives them back."

Aww...you poor guys. I'm so sorry. Suddenly gunbunnies make perfect sense now.

postscript: I've decided that I must dine at a Twin Peaks restaurant. Absolutely must. It's imperative. My life will simply not be complete until some waitress asks me, "Do you want the man size or the girl size?" when I order a beer.

Beer porn

I hung out with these guys at the brewery this evening.




Mike Fallacy, Bubblehead Les, William the Coroner. (I've been assured they didn't coordinate their outfits.)

Good times.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

two of my favorite things

David writes about beer...and sometimes guns.

Discuss, III

I'm thinking of a Northcoast pre-holiday evening happy hour get together at Willoughby Brewing Company. Anyone interested?

Pop top

Last night, I drank beer that came in a can. Don't judge me.

See, I have a thing for seasonal microbrews and beers with unique flavors. (Except smoked brews, which oddly taste like liquid kielbasa.) I'm also a sucker for good packaging and design.
So when I saw a six pack of the 21st Amendment Brewery's Fireside Chat winter spiced ale in a handsome brown box, I was intrigued...and then horrified to discover that the beer came in cans. I put the box back on the store shelf. No way was I going to buy a six of cans.

But one single can? Just to give it a try? (and to blog) Sure, it was a buck fifty. Why not.

The beer was just...okay. It was a little watery for me (but then I'm used to ales so hoppy it sometimes tastes like you're chewing metallic grass clippings.) and the spice flavors were a little weak - but I really liked the thick rootbeer-esque foam. Kind of made me feel like I was drinking something festive and fun. This would be a good choice for people who are used to lighter tasting beers but would like to start trying flavored microbrews.

And FDR on the can? Kind of cool.

*this company also offers a watermelon wheat beer in the summertime. Highly questionable, but I suppose I'll have to try it.

-Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

beat the heat

Hopsicle. I'll take two.

a proper Irish drink

...one of two that was enjoyed by a sometimes improper Irish me.









(proof for Zendo Deb)

heaven

Three words: chocolate bacon cheesecake.

Being sponsored by an award winning brewery doesn't hurt either.

excuses, excuses

Reasons why this blog sucks lately:

1.) Stories like the French chef who said "I saw God before me" when he saw Obama make my head want to explode. I am struck dumb in abject horror and mostly just make disgusted sputtering noises when I read the news. Any amount of punditry I might have had has left me. I did, however, good chuckle out of this...

I'm sure it was just a lucky shot, but still. Heh.

2. I haven't been shooting in a long, long time. I miss shooting. Stupid ammo hoarders, no shooty makes Breda a very sad girl.

3. No snow! Gardening! Outside! Sunshine! Dirt! Blossoms! Worms! Herbs! Turtle walks! (new video of the cutest turtle on the internet, if you're interested.) I hate to waste good weather but just this weekend I found a little wifi spot outside near the perennials, so blogging might improve.

4. I've been reading a new book, An Edible History of Humanity. I just can't read fiction lately - I find that I just don't care about the characters and their lives - and I've always liked those books with titles like Milk, Salt, The Pencil or Color, where the author traces the history and evolution of a single subject. My favorite bit of this new book so far comes from the part about the reasons why humans might have started farming, despite the fact that hunting and gathering was by far a much easier lifestyle.

It has even been suggested that the accidental fermentation of cereal grains, and resulting discovery of beer, provided the incentive for the adoption of farming, in order to guarantee a regular supply.

The most unexpected things sometimes have the greatest effect.

Introducing...

(enlarge photos for detail)












... the official gear of the Bredalución!

Well, technically, it's #gunblogger_conspiracy gear with a quote about me on the back.

TD of The Unforgiving Minute designed them and put them up on Zazzle intending for the people who hang out on the IRC channel to all have matching shirts (with customizable quotes on the back.) Those of us going to the 2A Blogbash in Phoenix next week are planning on outing ourselves as geeks by wearing them on the same day. I'm sure there will be photos for you to laugh at- a bunch of grinning gunnerds and me, looking like, "Who the hell are these guys and why are we wearing the same shirt?"

I'm kidding. I love the funny, smart, irreverent gunnerds of the IRC - I only wish they were all going to the 2A BlogBash. You'd find us sitting in some corner somewhere, furiously typing on our laptops, chatting to each other online. Occasionally someone would LOL and then there'd be a lot of :D-ing. Someone would let us know that they'd BRB, wander off for a drink and we'd all type "see ya," never looking up from our computer screens.

Anyway, I received my shirt yesterday and in the middle of telling the IRC about it, I had an idea. Here's how it went...

breda: I wonder if I blog the shirt, would readers buy it?
OrangeNeck: probably

And then a few minutes later...

TD: breda, we should do a bredalucion design
alan: YES!
breda: ok
OrangeNeck: heh
OrangeNeck: we'll make her famouser
breda: and put on the back "Carry your gun - it's a lighter burden than regret."
breda: DO IT
alan: that's awesome
OrangeNeck: "Who's that Breda chick on your shirt?"
TD: THIS I COMMAND!
breda: dooooooooooooooooooooo it

OrangeNeck: "Why, she's ONLY the coolest thing since sliced bread!"
alan: I think she said that in the librarian voice
breda: I will blog it and people will buy it and we'll use the money for beerz

OrangeNeck: oboy oboy oboy oboy. microbrewery beerz!!!
breda: the title will be "The official shirts of the Bredalucion"
Lokidude: Beerz for the winz!
breda: TD!
breda: do it!
TD: breda! I'm doing it!
breda: YAY!!

(Be aware that this conversation took place immediate following last night's Gun Nuts Radio - download HERE - and I was enjoying a well deserved post-show adult beverage. Co-hosting is hard work, you know.)

Anyway, here's what our slightly drunken supernerdy goofiness came up with...I think it's brilliant of course.

Get yours here!
All proceeds will go to the "get the gunbloggers drunk in Phoenix" fund.

*Special thanks to the handsome and talented Robb Allen for the beautiful graphic. He's an amazing web developer, fantastically funny gunblogger and all-around great guy. (by the way, someone hire him and pay him a lot of money - he needs pants. Do it for the children.)

naughty librarian

I just got my yearly "gift" for being such a good little employee. Someone - the library director, the library board, someone - got each of us a $25 gift certificate to the local grocery store.

Guess what I'm buying?

bellwether

You know the saying, "As Ohio goes, so goes the nation"? The votes of Ohioans really matter.

Well, this morning I discovered that Lake County, Ohio is the bellwether county in Ohio. Guess where I live?

So, yeah. No pressure. I'm going to go to the GOP headquarters later and see what I can do to help.

Tonight I'll be on Gun Nuts at 9PM EST. I really hope that Caleb gets home from the airport on time because if he doesn't, well...it'll just me talking about...something. Probably while drunk.

If that happens, please feel free to call in and distract me from the election results with some sweet, sexy gun talk*. It'd be much appreciated.

*totally stole this phrase from Bitter. I'm sure she won't mind. Probably.

Dancing with the dead

(all photos can be enlarged with a click)


The Halloween party at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History was incredible. Jack o'lanterns lit the entrance, a band was rocking out, people in costume were dancing amongst the taxidermy, decorated tables were laden with gourmet snacks, the planetarium was showing the classic Wizard of Oz/Dark Side of the Moon and, best of all, the dimly lit galleries were open. We partygoers could wander about and explore the exhibits, beer in hand. (I chose a spooky brew, in honor of the holiday.)
The Man with the Yellow Hat (See the monkey?) had an encounter with his old nemesis, the dunkleosteus.

Meanwhile, I was in the mineral hall saying, "Oooh...sparkly!" (the beer was 8% alcohol, okay?)

A little while later, I found my wenches gunchicks friends, Nicole and Elizabeth near the glacier exhibit. Mike and I rescued them from an overly friendly jawa, who was fumbling an attempt at flirting. Stories about baboon heads are an unlikely way to win a girl's heart.

It was a fabulous party and we ended up staying out well past the witching hour. A very tired fairy fell asleep in the car on the way home.

So this librarian walks into a bar...

Nicole and I sit at a table in a far corner of the brewery. We like to talk and have a couple of pints while surveying our domain. With our backs to the wall, we watch everyone coming and going, have a highly amusing view of the dance floor and are usually left alone except for the waitress who kindly keeps bringing us our free beer.

But last night we were joined by Nate.

We had seen him a few tables away, dancing and singing along with the music. His friends seemed to tolerate his unfunny class clown antics in the same way you'd be patient with someone less fortunate than you in the I.Q. department. And oh, poor Nate...when he looked up and noticed us in the corner, we were laughing at him. Not with him. He came over and sat at our table anyway, intent on chatting us up because he said we were "cute."

In hardly any time at all, Nate discovered that I was married and, gasp! 34! ( he did initially think I was 28, though. He gets points for that.) "Well, where is your husband? Why isn't he here, protecting you?"

I smiled benignly. "Because he knows I can take care of myself."

Nate scoffed. (Oh, Nate, you silly boy.)

A little while later, I was showing Nicole the Buckeye Firearms CCW reminder card I had in my purse. "What is that?" Nate asked. "Your AARP card?" (Nate apparently still thought that my advanced age was a great source of amusement.)

I leveled my best stare at him, smirking slightly as I handed him the card. He leaned over, close to a candle to read it. "Huh," he said, clearly not understanding. To help him make sense of it, I took my CCW license out of my wallet and let him see it. That's when Nate's lightbulb went on.

"HOLY $%&@! Do you have it on you NOW?!?!" Nate's eyes were huge.

I was kind of afraid that if I made any sudden moves or loud noises, there would be a puddle under Nate's chair. "No. It's not legal to carry in bars in Ohio," I said gently.

At this point, Nicole decided to get in on the fun. In her most cheerful, enthusiastic tone she said,"That's why she always carries a knife!" She was grinning from ear to ear. (Nicole has a very twisted sense of humor, one of the reasons I love her so.)

Nate was stammering, "Wait, what? And a gun? Really? You? A gun? For real? And a knife? But...? I'm afraid now!"

I smiled and touched his arm. "What? Afraid of little ol' me?" I explained a little about what it takes to get a CCW - the laws, the test, the fingerprinting...

Welcome to a brand new world, Nate. The one where the smallest person in the room just might be the most dangerous. Stay safe.

TGIF

Today, a harried patron called me a "ninja librarian" because yes, folks...I am just that good at my job. (even at 5:50 PM on a Friday)

I believe such exemplary service deserves a reward, don't you?


...and honestly? this is a far better IPA than a mere reference librarian deserves. This is like war hero caliber IPA. If you see it at your grocery store, buy it! (before I drink it all)

brew ha ha!

Barack drinks crap beer. Apparently PBR pairs well with arugula. Who knew?

road trip pt.2

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

We had found the brewpub and were now looking for a parking space. Mike looked at me as if I had completely lost my mind.

"I know, I know - it's too late now. We're already here...and, besides, it'll be great. Yep, great." I was babbling. Nervous.

I shouldn't have worried.

It really was great.

_____________________

Our drive was lovely and uneventful. We ate snacks (I am a master picnic packer), listened to bad music on the radio and admired the scenery - lots of flat open space, wide skies, red barns, distant horizons, and corn fields. I informed Mike that if we ever won the lottery we'd be buying a big piece of land. "I'd like to just go out and stand in the middle of it and shout, 'Mine! Mine!'...and then we would raise some goats."

"Goats, huh?" Mike said, humoring me as usual.

"Yeah. For goat cheese and you know, baby goats...because they're cute."

(Of course, the longer the road got, the sillier the conversations became...

"Hey, look at that sign!" I pointed out the window. "It says D&D RV!"

"I'll take a +5 camper, please.")

Anyway, for someone used to the urban/suburban sprawl of the Cleveland area, Indianapolis seemed to appear out of nowhere. And people live there. You say "city" to us and we immediately think of a place people commute to and then vacate as quickly as possible at 5PM. But Indianapolis is full of beautiful homes and thriving neighborhoods - definite signs of a nice place to live.

We found the hotel (I ♥ you, Google Maps), got cleaned up and headed for the Indy Blog Meet. Broad Ripple Village is exactly what a quirky eclectic neighborhood should be - lots of foot traffic, public artwork, restaurants...Mike and I only wish we had more time to explore.

The brewpub was filled with bloggers and blog readers, all smiling and talking and laughing, all at once and oh, it was just amazing. I laugh like a moron when I'm nervous and it took me about an hour to get settled down enough to where I was just grinning like a moron instead but, come on! I totally had good reason. I was sitting directly across the table from the sweet Mark Alger and SWMBO, handsome Turk Turon was to my right, future POTUS Caleb from Call Me Ahab and I talked about Battlestar Galactica, I got hugged by two other bloggers who shall remain nameless (and linkless), I was introduced to Old Grouch (who doesn't really live up to that name), and I finally met the amazing Tam (cooler than her own blog, if such a thing is possible) and the delightful RobertaX (cute on a stick and scary smart) who were kind enough to gift me with the Cthulhu Hat of Doom which I promptly put on my head.

I managed to keep the squee to a minimum but I had a moment where I looked across the table and said (yes, out loud), "Holy crap! it's Tam! in real life!" and then Roberta and I looked at each other and she said, "This is so kewl!" and I grinned and said, "I know!"

Mike had his own little starstruck moment when all the bloggers took turns standing up and introducing themselves. When a gentleman in a broad rimmed hat, way down at the other end of the room, stood up and said that he was James from Hell in Handbasket, I heard Mike exclaim, "Oh my gosh! I read him every single morning!" I was delighted to find them deep in conversation later in the evening.

(Mike, of course, is the one who should be blogging, not me. He is tremendously likeable, incredibly smart and outrageously funny. More than once I heard, "What happened to Mike-istan? Too bad you're not writing anymore." Maybe this will be the incentive he needs...he already called home today to ask if I remembered his Blogger password.)

Dinner and drinks at the brewpub, a walk by the river with shaved ice - the evening was wonderful and over too soon. I apologize to all who were there that I never really got a chance to talk to....we'll be back, hoping to meet you.

_____________________

We got back to the motel and fell into that big bed, happy and exhausted. I don't even remember closing my eyes.

On the way home, I decided that we had to stop at Warm Glow because they have a giant candle attached to their building and long string of billboards along the highway. They've put so much work into their advertising, it would be kind of rude not to stop. I bought a candle for my mom to thank her for taking care of her grandcats and posed in the parking lot like a tourist. The place must be famous or something - they had parking for buses.


We stopped for a late lunch near a mall somewhere in Columbus. As we were getting out of the car Mike said, "I wonder if they serve alcohol?" He started taking off his pistol and putting it in the glovebox.

Yep, we were definitely back in Ohio.

home again, home again (jiggedy jig)

The Indy Blog Meet was awesome. And, hey, look! I met Tam and RobertaX!

You can click the photo to see the entire thing - but I think this cropped version is hysterical...mostly because I'm overtired.

And still a bit overwhelmed...imagine being in a room full of really smart, extremely witty people with interests very similar to yours and each of those people is carrying on 5 different conversations at the same time and all you can do is hope you aren't grinning too much or sounding like too much of an idiot. Then throw in some beer. It was like that - and really, really wonderful. Yeah.

More tomorrow. Sentences will be easier to form when I'm not propping up my eyelids.

Ladies Night!

I've rounded up a bunch of girls (suddenly I have friends! that are girls! whee!) and we're going to the brewery. There's going to be a DJ and, most importantly, 3 free drinks. I doubt I can drink that much and I suspect Ladies Night is supposed to be for unmarried ladies but, hey...free beer.

I'm going to sample the Blue & Black - a milk stout made with dark chocolate and blueberry puree. Positively wholesome, I say. Think of all those antioxidants!

UPDATE: The Blue & Black was not quite as sweet or as fruity as I expected. It was good as stouts go, but it had an odd smokiness that I didn't like.

Hophead

I used to exclusively drink dark beers - lagers, porters and stouts - I liked that smooth, rich flavor that comes from the sweetness of malt. Lately, though, something has happened to me. I started dabbling with ales here and there and quickly discovered that bitterness is addictive. When I drink anything other than IPAs, my palate is bored. I need my hops and I need increasingly more hops to be satisfied. But it doesn't come cheap. I find myself cursing biofuel-loving hippies while scanning the store shelves for the hoppiest ales.

So when I found out that the brewery has created a new series of India Pale Ales that focus on single hop to highlight the flavors unique to each variety, I was totally excited. The first of this series, called One-Hopper, uses only Simcoe hops. It has a spicy citrus flavor, a smooth bitterness and 8.25% alcohol by volume.

Mmmm, yes. This is going to be a very good summer.

The brewery is also attempting to grow their own hops. They're planted outside and are climbing their way up wires that are attached to the roof of the two-story building...

Grow little hops, grow!