it's the muffin, man.

Just look at that pumpkin muffin. Look.
Now imagine it warm out of the oven, accompanied by a cold glass of apple cider.

You want it, I know you do. But, alas, you'd have to bake to get it. What a chore.

But here I am anyway, showing off my gorgeous, moist, crumbly, spicy homemade baked goods. Taunting you.

Aw, now, don't make that sad face. Don't pout. I'm really not that mean.

So, here. I want you to have muffins. Honest...I'll even make it easy for you.

1 box of super moist spice cake mix
1 can pumpkin puree
Mix
Bake at 350°F for 20-25 minutes

And if you feel like being fancy, add a struesel topping (like I did) or some cream cheese frosting.

Slow curry

Crockpots are so handy in the summer - especially when you don't have air conditioning and are craving something heartier than a salad.


2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
Handful or so of baby carrots
1.25 lbs. stew meat (I used beef, but lamb would be good too)
Half an onion, chopped
1 or 2 jalapeños, chopped (seeds and ribs removed)
1 can (14.something oz, I forget) plain diced tomatoes
1 cup coconut milk (light or regular, your choice)
3 cloves garlic, chopped
3 tablespoons regular (not hot) curry powder
Salt and pepper to taste

Sear the meat in a hot pan and then layer the ingredients as listed, sweet potatoes first. Cook about 8 hours on low.

Not totally required but toss in a handful of dried fruit (raisins, cranberries, chopped apricots, whatever) about 6 hours into cooking for extra yumminess. The sweetness is a good balance to the heat and spices.

Serve with basmati rice.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

chimichurri

I was going to share my secret recipe, but...nah.
I'll just let you all wonder.

stop boiling your vegetables, America!

I'm convinced that people who hate vegetables have never had vegetables properly prepared.

We've all suffered through the mushy, faded, bitter, boiled and buttered version of Brussels sprouts but take a look at this...

Yes, those perfectly caramelized little beauties are, in fact, one of the most dreaded vegetables ever to grace a 9-year old's dinner plate. Yet with some heat, attention, and minimal amounts of culinary skill, they have been magically transformed into something seriously delicious. They will taste nothing like you remember, I promise. *

Sprout Sauté

fresh Brussels sprouts, washed
olive oil
salt and pepper
balsamic vinegar
crumbled bacon
Parmesan cheese

1. Trim the stem ends of the Brussels sprouts and cut them in half lengthwise. Discard any loose or blemished leaves
2. Heat up the olive oil, enough to thoroughly coat the bottom of your pan. Medium to medium-high heat should be fine.
3. Place the sprouts flat side down in the pan and let them cook a few minutes. Check one to see how brown it is getting. Once the sprouts start getting a good color, sprinkle with salt and pepper to taste and begin to stir, cooking them on all sides. Turn the heat down a bit if the outsides are browning too fast because you also need the inside to cook.
4. Cook a few minutes, and poke a sprout with a fork to check for tenderness. Once it is to your liking, deglaze the pan with a little balsamic vinegar, scraping up any yummy caramelized bits and tossing the sprouts in the liquid. Let the liquid evaporate then throw in the bacon and cheese.
5. Serve and eat immediately.
6. Say "zOMG! these are Brussels sprouts!?"
7. Start plotting for the next time you can make this recipe.

*In fact, the Brussels sprouts were so good I keep eating them until they were all gone, causing me to completely neglect my steak. Anyone who knows me will tell you that this is very nearly a miracle because I am deeply passionate and devoted in my love for red meat.

when life deals you lemons...

Not many recipes begin with "Step 1: fly to Arizona" but on our recent trip out west Mom and I paid a visit to my cousin's house, or more specifically, his lemon trees.

We thought that we'd pick a few lemons, box them up and ship them home at a flat rate. Lemons are so expensive in Ohio, around 80 cents each, that we figured it'd be worth the trouble.

Despite my love for every- and anything lemon, I had no idea about how they grew. I figured they grew on trees somewhere vaguely south but as far as I was concerned, they might as well have been little zesty jewels filled with yummy wonder and sunshiney goodness magically delivered by citrus fairies. I just had never really thought about it. My best guess involved a yellower version of an apple tree, which has been the sum total of my experience with fruit trees thus far.

I wasn't too far off, except I wasn't prepared for just how many lemons a lemon tree can hold. Or how large lemons can become when they're allowed to fully ripen. My cousin's wife apologized for how small this year's lemons were, while holding a fruit about the size of a softball. I boggled...and quickly came to realize that the lemons I'd been loving and treasuring my entire life were just a sad parody of the real thing. (If you will, "lemons" vs. "LEMONS!!!!") I was standing in the sunshine picking fruit off its tree in January and my hands were sticky with lemon oil - the world was warm and smelled wonderful. I was in heaven.

Needless to say, within about 20 minutes, I had picked five or six grocery bags full - far more than would fit in our flat rate shipping boxes. Luckily, my aunt offered us a spare suitcase and, after some careful packing, weighing and stashing extra citrus in our other bags, we were able to check our bounty in with our other luggage. All in all, I think we had 60 pounds of citrus. (navel oranges and tangelos too, but mostly lemons) Dreams of all that lemonade made the blizzard we came home to a little bit easier to bear.

A few days later, Mom and I realized that the lemons were going to go a lot further than we thought. Just how much frozen lemon juice and dried zest would someone need, right? Mom made limoncello, which used 12 lemons...but we still had bags left over. What to do, what to do. Suddenly, I had an idea.

Marmalade.

All that sunshine, preserved. Gorgeous, isn't it?

(here's the recipe)

Snow day

And here I thought everyone was making french toast.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sweet & simple

Remember the baking craze that happened in the blogosphere because of Kevin Baker's beer bread recipe? Well, get ready to buy some more self-rising flour - and a pint of ice cream - because those are the only ingredients for this recipe. (yes, really.)

You can experiment with flavors, but I thought it'd be best to start with something simple. I chose Ben & Jerry's Pistachio Pistachio.


Ice Cream Bread

1 pint of melted ice cream
1.5 cups of sifted self-rising flour

Butter and flour a standard size loaf pan. Heat your oven to 350ºF. Mix your ingredients until smooth. Pour the batter into the pan. Bake for 40-45 minutes.

That's it. (yes, really.)

Enjoy!

gettin' jiggly with it

Bacon & (gummi) egg
jello shot.





And, hey! I happen to know a guy who makes bacon vodka!

Yes, we canned!

I've always said I wouldn't can anything, ever. I would freeze food, I would dehydrate, but I would never can. It seemed like such a chore - a whole day spent juggling hot glass in a steaming kitchen with no guarantee that you're not just preserving the botulism for a day when your loved one decides they want some homegrown salsa.

That was before we decided to grow tomatillos. The three small plants we bought at the farmer's market in June completely took over a section of our garden. We ate them all summer, a few at a time, as they ripened, but then September came and we were overrun with the little green fruits. Bowls of them filled our refrigerator and I made a halfhearted attempt to blanch and freeze a batch, which promptly turned into a unappetizing chartreuse mush.

Fine, I thought with a sigh. Fine. I'll can some of my famous salsa. How hard can it be? I bought jars and accessories, I researched recipes and instructions, I was lucky to have Mike's help...
But that salsa? Sealed up tight & ready for chips.

sweet!

I've been busy enjoying my first somewhat pain-free day in almost a week - doing things around the house, answering emails, shopping, and experimenting with new flavors of simple syrup, which is totally our new favorite thing.

If you go into a liquor store, you'll find what is sometimes called "rock candy syrup" although why anyone would ever buy it is beyond me. Simple syrup was called that for a reason, you know - making it is as easy as boiling equal parts water and sugar and then adding a flavor to steep as it cools. The syrups dissolve instantly, add sweetness and flavor, last up to two months in your fridge, and are excellent as a healthier alternative for soda when added to plain sparkling water.

It all began with the quest to make the perfect mojito. Mike didn't like crushed mint leaves cluttering up his drink and we both certainly liked the idea of nearly instant cocktails - a little rum, a little seltzer, a little syrup and bingo bango, Mojito Monday in a flash. (the first batch taught us that the second batch needed fresh lime juice.) We've also made a lemon ginger syrup and have plans for fizzy creamsicles - orange juice, vodka, seltzer and vanilla syrup. Yummy, right? I'd also like to make a hot and sweet chile pepper syrup, although I have no idea what use I'd have for it.

(Have you ever made a simple syrup? If so, leave the recipe in the comments!)

better than octodogs

Since everyone and their (Say)Uncle has sent me this , I thought I'd pass it on. (I had to be reassured that they weren't real turtles before I'd click the link. )

oh, nuts.

Around these parts, peanuts usually come in a limited number of flavors: dry roasted and honey roasted. Oh, and peanut butter. I was shocked to learn that a certain portion of the country likes to boil their goobers...while still in their shells. Seriously.

But since I'm always up for a culinary adventure, SayUncle was kind enough to send me some green peanuts so that I could try his recipe.

First of all, I'd like to say that green peanuts smell weird, like dirt and raw potato. This combined with the description of boiled peanuts as "hot, salty snot and boogers inside a soaked, soggy, used-to-be-crunchy shell" and needless to say, I was a bit skeptical.

Undaunted, I gathered the ingredients and set about boiling my peanuts...for hours. I left the house with the peanuts still bubbling away on the stovetop only to return and find them...looking exactly the same. (I don't think it's a coincidence that every Southern recipe I've ever tried took a long time to cook.) After three and a half hours I gave up, declared them done...


...and really liked them. (with beer!)

for flavor

A number of years ago, after reading Anthony Bourdain's memoir Kitchen Confidential, I decided to incorporate shallots into my cooking. Bourdain wrote that shallots were even more essential than butter if you wanted to learn to make your food taste professional. Subtler than onion, more complex than garlic and yet as versatile as both, they've been a staple in my pantry ever since.

It also didn't hurt that my first shallot experience required me to sauté them with diced bacon.

Recently though, during a trip to Penzey's I noticed they were selling shallot salt. I read the ingredients on the label.

Dried shallots. Salt.

"Oooh," I thought. "I could make this!"

I bought a bag of shallots from the wholesale club and minced them very finely in the food processor. Shortly thereafter, between coughing and wiping the burning tears from my eyes, I realized I had probably just invented a weapons-grade chemical agent. Proper ventilation, and perhaps goggles, are required.

I spread the shallot paste on the parchment I had cut to fit the trays of my food dehydrator, sprinkled some sea salt on top and let it all dry for 24-48 hours. I can't remember exactly how long or at what temperature, but I don't think you can really over dry this. After a couple days, I put the mixture back into the food processor with even more sea salt and a little dried homegrown parsley. I whizzed it all together until it seemed done, and ended up making almost 6 cups of shallot salt for far less than what I might have spent in a gourmet store.

The aroma coming from those little jars is absolutely divine, by the way - I keep opening them to have another sniff. And I could tell you all about how it makes a humble strip steak something so deliciously good that you close your eyes in ecstasy and murmur, "Oh. my. God." between bites...but that would just be cruel.

lazy baker

Did you know you could use a pie plate filled with fruit, a few tablespoons of butter and 3 packets of instant oatmeal to make an easy dessert?


- Posted from my iPhone

Cuke madness

The smell of cucumber always reminds me summer - probably because everyone who gardens ends up with a surplus. After a few weeks of salads and pawning them off on the neighbors, you start searching for exciting new recipes, like cucumber popsicles and my mom's spicy Thai pickles, inspired by a lovely relish served at one of our favorite restaurants.



Ellen's Thai pickle
1/2 c. rice wine vinegar
1/4 boiling water
1tsp. salt
1/2 c. finely chopped red onion
3 Tbsp. sugar
1/2 tsp. dried red chile flakes
4 medium-sized cucumbers, sliced thin
Dash garlic powder

Mix the chile flakes, sugar, garlic powder and salt with the hot water and add to vinegar. Pour over cucumbers and onions and refrigerate overnight. Enjoy!

P.s. Mom's been talking about starting a recipe blog. I think it'd be great, don't you?

- Posted from my iPhone

Summer is delicious

Market fresh berries, soft, sweet nectarines and spicy grated gingerroot...




I'm baking a cobbler.

- Posted from my iPhone

come on, admit it.

It really is the best part.

ok, I'll byte*

Bacon tots, an idea that turned into a culinary wonder - proof that sometimes kitchen experiments don't end in grease fires and clouds of billowing smoke.

(* since everyone else is linking to it, I suppose I will too.)

grow a pair...

...and eat some balls. With mustard.

Saturday snowday cookies

For this week's new recipe I was going to write about these tropical porkchops but while the sauce was really delicious - a little spicy with a tang of pineapple* - the chops themselves turned out dry and disappointing. We ended up dicing up the remains of the pork and using it in a stirfry with some of the leftover sauce. Good, but not what I was aiming for - the recipe would be fabulous with a juicy little pork tenderloin or perhaps boneless, skinless chicken thighs (my new meat discovery, I cannot sing their praises enough.)

Anyway, I wanted cookies today but didn't want to leave the house. We didn't quite get the snowpocalypse everyone else has been fretting about but it was bitterly cold - far too cold to venture out just for cookies. Plus at 4PM I was still debating on getting dressed.

I pulled out Mike's mom's recipe binder, hoping to discover a recipe that called for things I had in the pantry, which really wasn't much. I found the perfect thing...chewy brown sugar cookies, the easiest cookie I've ever made.

Mix one well beaten egg with 1 cup packed brown sugar and 1 tsp. vanilla. Add one half cup unsifted flour, one quarter tsp. each of salt and baking soda and one and a half cups chopped nuts. Drop spoonfuls on cookie sheet and bake @ 350°F for 7-9 minutes.

Perfect on a winter's afternoon with a cup of tea. Enjoy.

_______________________
*just the thing (I thought) for celebrating our first ever Netflix delivery, a Burn Notice disc. The show is set in Miami and I had a taste for something thematic.